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The Book of Miracles
A chapter in the book The Book of Miracles
1 Noise
by Iza Deleanu
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
"Jess what the heck man, turn that noise down, I don't want to listen to your crappy music. Why don't you wear headphones like anybody else?"
"Sorry Ray Ray I can't it is against my experiment. But you can wear these" said him handing me a noise cancellation headphones."
"Why should I wear them, I am not the one making the noise!"
"I can't Ray Ray, the doctor said that if you don't stop wearing headphones 24 from 24, my brain will fry, I am pretty sure that you would not like a dumb dumb next to you!"
"Jess, what are you talking about? Holy…"
"Ray-Ray stopped it, don't swear, Grammarly is suggesting that the phrase holy shit that you wanted to use is not appropriate, so you should say: Holy Guacamole!'
"Jess, what are you saying?"
"Ray Ray, this is such a wonderful excuse to swear undercover, don't you think? Swear left and right, and nobody can accuse you of profanity."
"What's wrong with you, Jess; too much smoke-nstein? Is your brain on Cloud 9?"
"Ray Ray, if you think about it, the color and consistency of the guacamole… it is a nice substation for that sh… You change a word, and the effect is the same"
"Jess, seriously, what is Grammarly saying if I am calling you "mother fucker?"
"Ray, Ray, Grammarly says to use "mother fortune" because you are very fortunate when somebody swears at you; that means you are famous. All the mother's fortunes united front are welcome!"
"Aha, so this goes under the line of bad publicity – good publicity aka excellent popularity. Listen up mother fortune, if you don't shut the shop now, I am going to take that phone and stick into your mother's fortune ass. Then we will see how is the guacamole business doing is."
"Ray, Ray relax just be a good doll and take these noise cancellation headphones. We can still enjoy our date. You can walk next to me wearing these; see they are your favorite color, pink. Will be so awesome you enjoying the silence, me the music."
"Do you call this a walk, Jess?"
"Yes, of course, we are together Ray, Ray enjoying the same view. Isn't this what you want?"
"Jess, no please, use some headphones… your music is killing the view. I wonder if you have some noise cancellation headphones for the view too."
"Ray, Ray I can't, remember what the doctor said: fried brain, bad hearing! I know in your country it is ok to eat fry brains, but I like mine as it is very much, so the music stays. And there is also the experiment."
"What experiment?" I asked gingerly.
"Well if my phone stays in the pocket next to my waist, I could fry some fat belly… which I don't mind to partake with. Just think about it, lose it doing nothing and enjoying my music: we are family," said Jess.
"I got all my crazy with me”! I finished for him.
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"Jess what the heck man, turn that noise down, I don't want to listen to your crappy music. Why don't you wear headphones like anybody else?"
"Sorry Ray Ray I can't it is against my experiment. But you can wear these" said him handing me a noise cancellation headphones."
"Why should I wear them, I am not the one making the noise!"
"I can't Ray Ray, the doctor said that if you don't stop wearing headphones 24 from 24, my brain will fry, I am pretty sure that you would not like a dumb dumb next to you!"
"Jess, what are you talking about? Holy…"
"Ray-Ray stopped it, don't swear, Grammarly is suggesting that the phrase holy shit that you wanted to use is not appropriate, so you should say: Holy Guacamole!'
"Jess, what are you saying?"
"Ray Ray, this is such a wonderful excuse to swear undercover, don't you think? Swear left and right, and nobody can accuse you of profanity."
"What's wrong with you, Jess; too much smoke-nstein? Is your brain on Cloud 9?"
"Ray Ray, if you think about it, the color and consistency of the guacamole… it is a nice substation for that sh… You change a word, and the effect is the same"
"Jess, seriously, what is Grammarly saying if I am calling you "mother fucker?"
"Ray, Ray, Grammarly says to use "mother fortune" because you are very fortunate when somebody swears at you; that means you are famous. All the mother's fortunes united front are welcome!"
"Aha, so this goes under the line of bad publicity – good publicity aka excellent popularity. Listen up mother fortune, if you don't shut the shop now, I am going to take that phone and stick into your mother's fortune ass. Then we will see how is the guacamole business doing is."
"Ray, Ray relax just be a good doll and take these noise cancellation headphones. We can still enjoy our date. You can walk next to me wearing these; see they are your favorite color, pink. Will be so awesome you enjoying the silence, me the music."
"Do you call this a walk, Jess?"
"Yes, of course, we are together Ray, Ray enjoying the same view. Isn't this what you want?"
"Jess, no please, use some headphones… your music is killing the view. I wonder if you have some noise cancellation headphones for the view too."
"Ray, Ray I can't, remember what the doctor said: fried brain, bad hearing! I know in your country it is ok to eat fry brains, but I like mine as it is very much, so the music stays. And there is also the experiment."
"What experiment?" I asked gingerly.
"Well if my phone stays in the pocket next to my waist, I could fry some fat belly… which I don't mind to partake with. Just think about it, lose it doing nothing and enjoying my music: we are family," said Jess.
"I got all my crazy with me”! I finished for him.
"Sorry Ray Ray I can't it is against my experiment. But you can wear these" said him handing me a noise cancellation headphones."
"Why should I wear them, I am not the one making the noise!"
"I can't Ray Ray, the doctor said that if you don't stop wearing headphones 24 from 24, my brain will fry, I am pretty sure that you would not like a dumb dumb next to you!"
"Jess, what are you talking about? Holy…"
"Ray-Ray stopped it, don't swear, Grammarly is suggesting that the phrase holy shit that you wanted to use is not appropriate, so you should say: Holy Guacamole!'
"Jess, what are you saying?"
"Ray Ray, this is such a wonderful excuse to swear undercover, don't you think? Swear left and right, and nobody can accuse you of profanity."
"What's wrong with you, Jess; too much smoke-nstein? Is your brain on Cloud 9?"
"Ray Ray, if you think about it, the color and consistency of the guacamole… it is a nice substation for that sh… You change a word, and the effect is the same"
"Jess, seriously, what is Grammarly saying if I am calling you "mother fucker?"
"Ray, Ray, Grammarly says to use "mother fortune" because you are very fortunate when somebody swears at you; that means you are famous. All the mother's fortunes united front are welcome!"
"Aha, so this goes under the line of bad publicity – good publicity aka excellent popularity. Listen up mother fortune, if you don't shut the shop now, I am going to take that phone and stick into your mother's fortune ass. Then we will see how is the guacamole business doing is."
"Ray, Ray relax just be a good doll and take these noise cancellation headphones. We can still enjoy our date. You can walk next to me wearing these; see they are your favorite color, pink. Will be so awesome you enjoying the silence, me the music."
"Do you call this a walk, Jess?"
"Yes, of course, we are together Ray, Ray enjoying the same view. Isn't this what you want?"
"Jess, no please, use some headphones… your music is killing the view. I wonder if you have some noise cancellation headphones for the view too."
"Ray, Ray I can't, remember what the doctor said: fried brain, bad hearing! I know in your country it is ok to eat fry brains, but I like mine as it is very much, so the music stays. And there is also the experiment."
"What experiment?" I asked gingerly.
"Well if my phone stays in the pocket next to my waist, I could fry some fat belly… which I don't mind to partake with. Just think about it, lose it doing nothing and enjoying my music: we are family," said Jess.
"I got all my crazy with me”! I finished for him.
This it is the first chapter from my new book - The Book of Miracles. The book is about the intersection of the lives of people from different cultures.
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