Humor Script posted August 10, 2019

This work has reached the exceptional level
A Tom and Carol script.

The Importance of Segues

by Thomas Bowling

Carol walks into Tom's office.

Carol: What's that guy's name?

Tom: I need a little more information.

Carol: That guy in the show I'm watching.

Tom: Why are you always so vague?

Carol: That's it, Vince Vaughn. Thanks, you're better than Google.

Tom: How in the world did you get Vince Vaughn out of vague?

Carol: They sound the same. How did you miss it?

Tom: I don't know. Everything you say confuses me.

Later that evening, Carol is back.

Carol: Did you hear that?

Tom: Hear what?

Carol: The First Lady was assassinated.

Tom: Oh, no. That's terrible. I feel so sorry for President Trump.

Carol: Not Melania, silly. The First Lady in the movie I'm watching.

Tom: Do you know what a segue is?

Carol: Sure, our mailman rides one.

Tom: I'm talking about the segue that provides context for what's to follow. When you speak to me, you should use a segue.

Carol: No problem. It's going to take a lot longer to tell you anything.

Tom: I have the patience of Job.

Carol: The guy who was the president of Apple?

Tom: One and the same. You're a genius. You should work for . . . 

Carol: NASA?

Tom: Yes. How did you know what I was going to say?

Carol: Context. I know you wouldn't say The Mayonnaise Clinic.

Tom: Mayo Clinic.

Carol: What did I say?

Tom: You said Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Carol: You're funny. Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory would be a fun place to work. I wonder if they're hiring.

Tom: It's not a real place.

Carol: Of course, it is. They made a couple of documentaries about it. They even got some big-name actors to appear in them, that funny guy and the good-looking one. They gave some kids a guided tour. Don't you remember? We watched them both.

Tom: Yes. The documentaries. I remember them now. They were very educational.

The next day, Tom decided to try some of Carol's mysterious speaking.

Tom: Honey, Will you bring me that thing?

Carol: Sure. It's in the utility drawer.

A few minutes later, Carol handed Tom a Philip-head screwdriver.

Tom: How did you know what I wanted?

Carol: You asked me to bring it to you.

Tom: You're driving me . . .

Carol: To the store to buy some Diet Coke.

Tom: You read my mind. Grab your keys.


Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Save to Bookcase Promote This Share or Bookmark
Print It View Reviews

You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.

© Copyright 2020. Thomas Bowling All rights reserved. Registered copyright with FanStory.
Thomas Bowling has granted, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.