Humor Script posted August 10, 2019


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A Tom and Carol script.

The Importance of Segues

by Thomas Bowling


Carol walks into Tom's office.

Carol: What's that guy's name?

Tom: I need a little more information.

Carol: That guy in the show I'm watching.

Tom: Why are you always so vague?

Carol: That's it, Vince Vaughn. Thanks, you're better than Google.

Tom: How in the world did you get Vince Vaughn out of vague?

Carol: They sound the same. How did you miss it?

Tom: I don't know. Everything you say confuses me.

Later that evening, Carol is back.

Carol: Did you hear that?

Tom: Hear what?

Carol: The First Lady was assassinated.

Tom: Oh, no. That's terrible. I feel so sorry for President Trump.

Carol: Not Melania, silly. The First Lady in the movie I'm watching.

Tom: Do you know what a segue is?

Carol: Sure, our mailman rides one.

Tom: I'm talking about the segue that provides context for what's to follow. When you speak to me, you should use a segue.

Carol: No problem. It's going to take a lot longer to tell you anything.

Tom: I have the patience of Job.

Carol: The guy who was the president of Apple?

Tom: One and the same. You're a genius. You should work for . . . 

Carol: NASA?

Tom: Yes. How did you know what I was going to say?

Carol: Context. I know you wouldn't say The Mayonnaise Clinic.

Tom: Mayo Clinic.

Carol: What did I say?

Tom: You said Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Carol: You're funny. Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory would be a fun place to work. I wonder if they're hiring.

Tom: It's not a real place.

Carol: Of course, it is. They made a couple of documentaries about it. They even got some big-name actors to appear in them, that funny guy and the good-looking one. They gave some kids a guided tour. Don't you remember? We watched them both.

Tom: Yes. The documentaries. I remember them now. They were very educational.

The next day, Tom decided to try some of Carol's mysterious speaking.

Tom: Honey, Will you bring me that thing?

Carol: Sure. It's in the utility drawer.

A few minutes later, Carol handed Tom a Philip-head screwdriver.

Tom: How did you know what I wanted?

Carol: You asked me to bring it to you.

Tom: You're driving me . . .

Carol: To the store to buy some Diet Coke.

Tom: You read my mind. Grab your keys.



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© Copyright 2019. Thomas Bowling All rights reserved. Registered copyright with FanStory.
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