One Friday night we were all sitting around the N.C.O. Club (the Army version of a tavern) telling stories and drinking barley pops. Somebody came up with the idea of a competition.

We'd all throw five bucks in the pot, and the best story would win.

Geiger told the story of his first article 15 (non-judicial punishment) in basic training when he walked up drunk to the Drill Sergeant and said, "I think you stink."

Nesbit told the story of while he was in Ranger School he became so tired and hungry he tried to call for a pizza using a tree in the Georgia swamplands.

"Amateurs," I said.

So I started out with the traditional start to a war story.
"This ain't no bull..."

While I was assigned to Germany, Smuckatelly and I attended a mini Ranger Course for two weeks.

Bear in mind it had rained for six straight days and nights, we'd gotten one Meals Ready to Eat (MRE) a day, and were functioning on an hour of sleep per night. To say we were cold, wet, tired, and miserable is an understatement.

At the halfway point in the course we were rewarded with a hot breakfast, our first hot meal in seven days!

With delicacies such as scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast piled on our plates, Smuckatelly and I looked for a comfortable tree to lean against.

As we were walking along, we hit a muddy patch. I made it okay, but Smuckatelly slipped and lost his grip on his plate. Down went his breakfast into the mud. Not wanting to see a grown man cry, we all looked away.

Smuckatelly started shaking his head from side to side in disbelief. What happened next is something you wouldn't believe.

Instead of whining or trying to plea bargain for another plate, he sat down in the puddle next to his food, pulled out a white plastic spoon, and started eating his scrambled eggs.

One of the instructors came over to him and pulled out a bottle of hot sauce and handed it to Smuckatelly.

"You're going to need this Ranger Smuckatelly."

I, of course, walked away with a cool $50.

Now for the rest of the story....

Smuckatelly was named honor graduate for the course.

And to this day Smuckatelly is my hero. Every time I sit down to breakfast I'm very liberal when I put hot sauce on my eggs in his honor.