After months of suspicion, Kermit the Frog hired an investigator to spy on Miss Piggy's activities.
Because his chicken act flopped, Gonzo became a private dick for a living and took on the job.
Convinced that pig was up to no good, Kermit had to find out what all her devious secrecy was hiding.
Determined to help his lifelong friend, the next night, Gonzo grabbed his camera and waited hours
outside their mansion for Miss Piggy to exit.

Eight forty three P.M. she left, dressed to the hilt in stilettos and designer evening wear.
From the shadows, he followed, camera in hand.

Gonzo started clicking pictures when she stopped and knocked on a door in the Sesame Street ghettos
and Bunsen and Beaker greeted her.
He knew that when they were fired from the lab, they went down a dark path and now used all their
scientific expertise to make a signature brand of potent methamphetamines.

Image after image, Gonzo clicked off, through the boarded window cracks, as Kermit's wife slowly
inhaled the toxins through a long glass pipe.

Just afterwards, the three went into a different room and Gonzo made his way to another window
for more pictures.
Keeping his aim trained on her, Gonzo watched as Miss Piggy stripped naked in front of a couple
other people and a video camera.
"Lights, camera, action," someone shouted, out of view.
Murmuring to himself, Gonzo whispered, "Muppet porn."
Naked on the bed, wearing nothing but that stupid hat and ridiculous tie, was their good friend,
Fozzy Bear.

Once she jumped on top of him and started brutally humping, she shouted, "You know what I need
now?"
Pouncing through the door came Animal, and in the air as he dove for the bed, he yelled, "ANIMAL!"

Questioning if he should really show his dear friend the results of what he found, Gonzo decided it
would be for the best.
Raising his hands in the air and flinging his head side to side, Kermit ran around the house wailing,
"Aaaaahhhhhh!?"

Sadistic thoughts of torturous murder crossed the mind of the puppet frog.
"That sorry ass sow with that simpleton moron, and Animal?"
Until that day they were the best of friends.

Violently, Kermit kicked in Fozzy's door and yelled, "How could you dare screw my wife?"

"Waka waka," is all he said.

Expecting nothing less, Kermit just shook his head in disgust and left.

Years went by and one day in an adult video store, Kermit came across Miss Piggy's porno,
"The Fine Swine."

Zany as it was, he actually bought a copy, then quickly ran home and masturbated.