"Safari"

INT. BARROM. NIGHT.

FADE IN

(Two friends are sitting in a bar when the whiskey starts talking)

Barry
Aren't'cha goin' on safari?

Jerry
By way of the Serengeti.

Barry (Scoffs)
Cancel my trip to the Artic.

Jerry
Dont'cha wish you could come along? Elephants and emus are in season.

Barry
Frankly, as Scarlett once said, "I don't give a damn!"

Jerry
Geez, chalk one up to your bad attitude.

Barry (Testy)
Hope a rhino gores you in the butt with its horn!

Jerry (Attempts to lighten the building tension)
Indigo blue skies overhead. Jaguars, jacanas, and jackals are all on my trophy list.

Barry
Kill a klipspringer, if you can climb a rock to find one.

Jerry (Ready to fight)
Let me at em! Let me at em!

Barry (Warns)
Meddlin' in another man's business is a bad bet!

Jerry
Ouch!

Barry
Punched, right in the snooze!

Jerry
Quick, give me a Band-Aid!

Barry
Relax before I sock you a good one again.

Jerry
Stop the bleeding! Stop the bleeding!

Barry
That served you right, you weenie!

Jerry (Threatens)
Until I get my hands around your scrawny neck!

Barry (Socks Jerry in the nose a second time)
Very well. You asked for it!

Jerry (Changes his tune)
We're friends again?

Barry (Hands Jerry a paper towel to wipe his nose)
Xerox a copy of this script for our readers. They're gonna want it.

Jerry
Yes, I certainly will.

Barry
Zebras have stripes too, you know.

FADE OUT