The calling for a Hospice Nurse can come at any time. When I received the call,  I didn’t know it. I had only been a nurse for six months. I was working in a nursing facility and had a patient that was in distress. The patient’s noisy breathing sounded very wet. The patient was filling up with fluid and of course, was uncomfortable. I had called the doctor and the family and was told nothing was going to be done and the family would be in the next day.

I went to the employee break room sat down and cried. I had to let this patient drown in their fluids, and there was nothing I could do. This was not why I went into the nursing field. Since I was upset because I could not make that patient comfortable, that was the start of the calling to a Hospice Heart. Hospice Nurses try every, and anything to make a patient comfortable.

I left that facility six months after that because I was just pushing pills and doing paperwork, also not why I wanted to be a nurse. Some nurses like the hustle and bustle of the emergency room. Others like trauma, surgery, and even just working in a facility.  Nurses like doctors can have specialties. I have worked in many different specialties. From a long-term, rehabilitation facility, to assisted living with memory care.

I also worked as a nurse in our county jail. None of these fulfilled why I became a nurse. Unhappy nurses become burnt-out nurses. A burnt-out nurse is a dangerous nurse. A burnt-out nurse can make mistakes that can be life-threatening.  I was becoming a burnt-out nurse and wanted out of nursing. I didn't want to be a danger to my patients or myself.

Many nurses get burnt out working in long-term care facilities. Many of these nurses keep working in them burnt out. I was not one of those nurses. I went back to school to get out of nursing. While working on my Ph.D. online, I started working for hospice on an as-needed status. My first case was following another hospice nurse. I saw how much of a difference she made for the patient and their family that I was instantly hooked.

Working as a Hospice Nurse is nursing for me. This is why I became a Nurse. Nursing can mean so much to each nurse. Finding where you fit as a nurse makes all the difference. I make a difference to the patients and their families. I also get to see the difference I make. I don’t do this for any recognition or praise. Most nurses don’t get either anyway.

I enjoy being a Hospice Nurse and I am rewarded by knowing the patient is comfortable, peaceful, and out of pain. I am also rewarded by the comfort I can give to the patient’s family. Being a Hospice Nurse is not for everyone. I hear every day from different people, “I couldn’t do what you do.”  I have always been an emotional and spiritual individual, and I can always tell when someone needs comfort.

I just do my job without thought or hesitation. It just comes naturally. I don’t get scared or freaked out by the strange occurrences that come with the job. I will go over those in a later chapter.  I believe I was destined to be a Hospice Nurse because it does come so naturally. I love my job and wouldn’t stop doing it unless I couldn’t do it anymore. I am a Hospice Nurse and I have a Hospice Heart. I was called to be a Hospice Nurse and wouldn’t change anything, except to have found my calling earlier. I believe in fate and destiny, and being a Hospice Nurse is my fate and destiny. Unfortunately, I had to stop working as a Hospice Nurse, due to an injury that prevented me from working as a Hospice Nurse anymore.