General Fiction posted March 9, 2019


Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
There is always room for negotiation

Five-Star Haggling

by Rachelle Allen

Unexpected Romance Contest Winner 

Dear Merle,
Your story was okay enough, I guess, but why did the main character think he was so smart? I thought his comment at the very end was arrogant. Plus you put in a lot of commas and need to use your Spell Check feature a lot more. I'm giving you three stars - but keep writing! Ronda.

Hey, Ronda -
Three stars? Are you KIDDING ME?! That wasn't 'arrogance,' that's what REAL writers recconize as, "snappy reppartay." I'm thinking, maybe you should have read more than just the ending! If you want to have as good a reputation on this site for SERIEOUS writers, (like me), you might, want to upgrade that star count, Missy! -Merle

Dear Merle -
First off, you're not allowed to back-talk a reviewer. So you're already violating all the rules.

Next off, I'll have you know I just read your whole story --well, you know, RE-read it-- and I think maybe you have a point about the repartee (Merle - please note spelling.) Maybe it WAS more "clever" than "arrogant." But could you at least agree that you put a lot of commas where they don't belong?

Also, by getting so defensive about my suggestions, you are kind of exhibiting what we prolific reviewers refer to as "correctile dysfunction." If you can agree about the commas, I guess I could give you four stars. Ronda

Now, Ronda, Honey, you know I'm a way better writer than you...I mean, a better writer than that meeger four-star rating, you're offering. I'm brilliant at gramer, and have been writing stories on this site longer than you've been alive. Surely you can give this sexy, talented elder of yours (I trust you've seen my profile picture?) a break. I spend my whole life on this site, so I think I kind of, deserve respect and a better rating for just that reason alone! I promise I'll use Spell Check like you want me to, Ronda. What do you say? -Merle

Well, Merle- How about if you use Spell Check and then send me a private-message copy of your pieces, and I'll get rid of the extra commas and, that way, not embarrass you in public. Will that be acceptable? If you agree to that, I can give you five stars. Ronda

Ronda - Okay, but we, both, have to agree not to air any dirty laundry, about this afterwards, on the Forum. -Merle

That's not exactly fair, Merle. I have a right to vent....but okay. Ronda

Hey, Ronda - What would I have to do, for a sixth star? -Merle

I live on the other side of the country from you, Merle. How would you feel about a road trip?

Writing Prompt
The topic for this contest is: Unexpected Romance. For poetry or prose. The story brings two people together, two people who don't necessarily realize that they belong together but the audience is rooting for them.

Unexpected Romance
Contest Winner

Recognized


All characters in this contest entry are fictional. Any similarity to members on this site is strictly coincidental!
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by ande500 at FanArtReview.com

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© Copyright 2019. Rachelle Allen All rights reserved.
Rachelle Allen has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.