Humor Fiction posted March 9, 2019

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Can a monkey really do my job?

Monkey Business

by Roxanna Andrews

I once had someone say to me,
your job could be done by a monkey.

Well I decided to put that to the test,
and lest you think I jest,

Here is the story in the monkey's own words,
It will be one of the strangest you've ever heard.

"My name is J. P. Monkey and I got hired today,
It's a really easy job, I heard them say.

I have to use a computer and answer the phone.
Answer emails, write letters, and all on my own.

It seems a lot for one monkey to do,
but it's either this or back to the Zoo.

Okay, the keyboard, I place my fingers just so,
but nothing happens! Why won't it go?

Oh, I have to tap the keys.
Say, this job is really easy.

Why is it beeping? I don't think it likes me,
But why? I'm so warm and friendly.

Now the phone is ringing and I'm picking up.
Someone is talking and talking. Should I interrupt?

"Eck, eck, oh, oh?" They don't understand what I said!
I asked if they wanted the department head.

They say we made a mistake that we must correct.
Hum, what's this button here that says 'Disconnect'?

Hey, that light up there looks like a great place to swing,
I think I'll do that and let the phone ring.

Oh, here comes the boss, I'll pretend I'm busy.
But twirling in my chair has made me so dizzy!

Staggering about DID NOT make a good impression,
Now, in HR, they're waiting for my confession.

Okay, I confess, I know not what I do!
I guess for me, it's back to the Zoo.

Farewell my fellow co-workers!
That twenty minutes just flew by,
If you're ever at the Zoo be sure to say Hi."

The moral of the story is:
Don't hire monkeys to do office work.
The little bugger will drive you berserk!



People really have not told me a monkey could do my job, but they have come close. But I think my little poem here proves them wrong, don't you?!

Club entry for the "Pets" event in "Animal Crackers".  Locate a writing club.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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© Copyright 2019. Roxanna Andrews All rights reserved.
Roxanna Andrews has granted, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.