General Fiction posted January 10, 2019 Chapters: -1- 2... 


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A chapter in the book Earl's Book of Lists 2

Earl's Lists 2

by Earl Corp




Background
A book of wacky lists you can add to. I had to disable the other one I didn't check the right box.lists
When I was a kid there was a book called the Book of Lists. There were all kinds of lists about everything under the sun from sports records to serial killers. There was a list of the most prominent poltergeist hauntings and a list of the most popular sexual positions.


In the back of the book there was an address in which we could submit our own lists for the next book. I always wanted to send in some lists but I never did because I didn't have enough confidence in my writing skills.


I got to thinking about it so I decided to devise some lists just for kicks and grins; here is what I came up with so far.

5 Foods I Won't Eat

1. Squash- I don't like the consistency or the taste of it.
2. Tuna fish- The smell and taste of it. You can't hide it no matter how you cook it.
3. Brussel sprouts- The first time I remember throwing up is from eating brussel sprouts.
4. Baked beans- I don't care how much you doctor them up I can't stand the taste or consistency.
5. Liver and onions- The smell. If I don't like the smell of something I won't eat it.


The Worst Movies I Have Ever Seen or Two Hours I'll Never Get Back

1. Waterworld- the only redeeming factor about this bomb is this is the first movie that Anna and I saw together. It's too long with a weak plot.
2. Robin Hood Men in Tights- How can a Mel Brooks movie suck this bad. But it does.
3. Bicentennial Man- Usually Robin Williams humor shows through, not this one. It's kind of like a Pinocchio with robots.
4. Wyatt Earp- Kevin Costner was so worried about being historically accurate it made the movie too long and too boring
5. Dumb and Dumber- I felt like my IQ had lowered 20 points by the time the credits rolled.


5 Jobs I Would Never Like to Have

1. Cafeteria Worker- No matter what you do you won't make everybody happy.
2. A state social worker for Children and Youth- I did this for two years and it sucked. This is a good way to see the underbelly of your community.
3. A Dog Catcher- It's not so much having to catch the animals as put them down, I don't think I could do that.
4. School Bus Driver- This is pure pandemonium. If you want to make money driving something become a long haul trucker. You might be gone a lot but the peace and quiet is worth it.
5. Kindergarten teacher- I had to do this once as a substitute teacher. I would rather do a combat tour in Afghanistan
 



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