General Script posted January 6, 2019

Chapters:

...58 59 -60- 61...

Exceptional

a one-scene script

A chapter in the book Scenes

Scene at a Dump Site

by Bill Schott

Two men meet at a suspected crime scene. It is an unauthorized dumping site filled with various, large pieces of furniture, appliances, and trash bags. It is early morning, slightly foggy, and the two are the only persons there.  Man 1: Pleasant morning to you, sir. My name is Herculuckle Peromes. Man 2:  No kidding. That is one weird name. Man 1:  That's quite rude. Might I inquire what you're called? Man 2:  That depends on who's calling it at me and why. Man 1:  I see by the mud on your left shoe and trouser cuff that you stepped into a puddle on First Street. It is dried, so you did it yesterday and are wearing the same clothing. The puddle is by a narrow stretch of the sidewalk where, if two people were passing, one would have to step off the concrete. Since it is your left shoe, you were going south and stepped off with that foot. Man 2: So far, so wrong, Sherlock. Man 1 :  Herculuckle.  To continue, you have raspberry jam on your left lapel, spaghetti sauce on the right breast pocket, and a milk moutache. You were recently in a food fight. Man 2:  You're dumber than a dumdum in the winner's circle at a 'How Dumb are You?' game show. Man 1 :  You are here, in the early morning, at the suspected location of a murder. You are either an ace detective, appearing here by sheer instinct, or, perhaps, returning to the scene of your heinous crime. Man 2:  Maybe I'm here to see if there's a place to dump an old rug from my house. Man 1 :  Is there a body rolled up in it? Man 2:  Not yet. Man 1 :  You have a wedding ring on your right hand. Custom demands that it be worn on the left. Your fingernails are bitten down, not manicured, and there is an attendance stamp on the back of your left hand indicating a recent outing at the nearby amusement park and beer tent. Man 2:  It's a birthmark. Man 1 :  Do you have an alibi for last evening at ten p.m.? Man 2:  I was in a food fight at the beer tent.  I lost my wedding ring after taking it off to chat up the ball toss lady. Then I got into a fist fight with her boyfriend, Rock'em Sock'em Sid. I broke my ring finger smashing my glass hand against his chin of reinforced concrete. He threw me through the Jelly World display, smacked me with a plate of lasagna from the Pasta Palace display, and then force fed me a gallon bottle of 2% milk from the Cookie Nook display. After all of that, he flattened me with a left hook. Man 1 :   Were you left unconscious? Man 2: That would have been preferable to the continued beating I received. Man 1 :  No one would stop Sid from punishing you? Man 2:  Naw. He left, but my wife showed up and kicked me around for an hour. Man 1 :  I see you found your ring. Man 2:  It was down on First Street. I had to step off the sidewalk to pick  it up and stuck my foot in that stinking hole. Man 1 :  That's quite a ways for your ring to have traveled from where you were. Man 2:  That's what I thought, but there it was. I had to put it on my right hand because my left is busted. Man 1 :  Now you are here. Man 2:  I was walking all night looking for that ring. Once I found it I kept walking all night trying to come up with a way to save my marriage. Man 1 :  So that brought you here, to this illegal dumping site? Man 2:  Well, yeah. Didn't I mention I had a P-Oed wife and a rug to dump? Man 1 :  So you are planning to kill your wife and dump her here in an old rug? Man 2:  That was the plan, until I met you. Man 1 :  Of course. I will be informing the police that you intend to murder your wife and dump her rug-rolled corpse in this make-shift landfill. Man 2:  Something like that. I will be informing the police that I caught you dumping your dead wife in this dead-wife-dumping pile. Man 1 :  Why would they believe that incredible story? Man 2:  Elementary, Dr. Whatson. You've spent ten minutes here describing your own appearence as though it were me. I have been recreating the events of last evening as related to me by the several witnesses at the amusement park. The ring is on your hand. You are quite insane, and -- I -- am Herculuckle Peromes.   Write A Review Image from Pixaby Pays one point and 2 member cents. You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.