General Fiction posted October 2, 2018


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My effort at writing a query letter

An Agent's query letter

by bob cullen

Katherine,

Several things about your agency attracted my interest. I read your agency welcomes first-time writers. I hoped you might like to add another debutante to your stable of writers. More importantly I liked that your stated aims are to; 'support the author's whole career,' and, 'Our agents work collaboratively.'' I applaud both, loyalty and teamwork.

My novel, JFK's Other Son, though FICTION tells the credible story of Jackson Moffatt, the child born to Marilyn Monroe.

Few names in American history conjure up more intrigue than JFK and Marilyn Monroe.

Quality fiction thrives on 'what if' scenarios involving celebrities. JFK's Other Son is such an example. My character, Jackson Moffatt shares a unique link with Marilyn and John. He is their son.

Jackson Moffatt, JFK's Other Son was born on August 2, 1962 two days before the death of Marilyn. Four days after his birth, the child was found abandoned on the front steps of an Orphanage. On August 8, the baby vanished. The disappearance was never investigated. Why?
Veronica Waters assisted as a nurse in the delivery of Marilyn's child. Forty-eight hours later she also witnessed the star's death. Veronica abducted the child to raise him as her own. Twenty years passed. Veronica, fearing her continued presence in her son's life could jeopardise the secret of birth, and therefore his life surrendered the role of parent weeks prior to his 21st birthday.

Five decades later and now in her seventies, Veronica confronts twin dilemmas. Does her son need to know the truth? And will the cancer presently ravaging her body allow her time to deliver that truth?

JFK's Other Son tells the story. The manuscript runs to 96,000 words.

While I can't boast any publishing credits, my writing has generated enthusiastic responses when presented to several book club reading groups drawing comparisons to the novels of Lee Child, Vince Flynn, and David Baldacci. Those flattering reader reviews encouraged me to pursue the ambitious goal of representation and publication. Seeing my character, Calin Roberts compared with Child's Jack Reacher, Flynn's Mitch Rapp and the many characters of Baldacci enhanced my dream. Like those great writers, I endeavour to create high-concept stories with believable action, lots of tension and credible characters. I have a second Calin Roberts novel completed and a third underway.

With a view to marketing, I approached a number of high profile authors with a request to review JFK's Other Son if and when published. I've been invited to send a review copy to David Baldacci's office once I've secured a publisher. Time permitting, David has offered to read with the possibility of penning a one or two line back-cover blurb.

When I'm not writing I can be found spending time with my wife, playing golf, and tending to our garden. My wife's translation of that last sentence would read: When he's not writing he's lazy but he can be found doing what he's told around the house, hacking his way into bunkers and water hazards, and growing weeds where flowers once bloomed.

With this query I include a synopsis along with the first twenty pages of JFK's Other Son for your consideration. I hope it excites your interest. Should you like to see more, I'd be delighted to accommodate that request,

Regards and thanks,

Robert Cullen






Synopsis: JFK's Other Son. FICTION Suspense/Thriller

Word Count: 96,000

In the first ten days of August 1962, Veronica Waters, a contracting Nursing Sister in Los Angeles played an active role in three highly significant, but largely unreported events. In the first, Veronica assisted at the birth of an illegitimate child, the mother, Marilyn Monroe and the father, the US President, John Kennedy. In the second incident, two days later Veronica watched the actress die when injected with an experimental lethal drug combination later used in death penalty executions. The media reported suicide by overdose, a verdict seemingly justified by Miss Monroe's recent erratic behaviour. Three days later, Veronica participated in a kidnapping. Along with Marilyn's child Veronica disappeared, another unresolved VWAT, 'vanished without a trace' case.

Fifty three years later in 2015, Jackson Moffatt relocates to Vancouver from San Diego on receiving a series of anonymous letters claiming knowledge of his past. Moves to Atlanta and Dallas follow. A trust fund, established in the days after his birth in 1962 and now worth in excess of eleven million dollars, vanishes. Jackson finds himself the target of a frenzied and relentless pursuit. Driven by desperation, he attempts suicide only to be saved by a stranger, a former Homeland operative named Calin Roberts.
Are the two events linked? Absolutely, not even the passing of a half century and the deaths of many of those involved can detract from the truth. Particularly when you blend into the equation, a crooked FBI Agent of forty years named Buddy Santiago. He is hell bent on locating and accessing the bank account of Jackson Moffatt, a man known to him as JFK's Other Son.

A trail of death follows Santiago as he pursues his goal. A private investigator dies and his office is ransacked. Two former FBI Quantico classmates of Santiago die within days of each other, coincidence, unlikely. Death moves across the Pacific, to the Fijian Islands where another couple of bodies, both identified as colleagues and former partners of Santiago are found dead on a beach. Santiago employs a Houdini stunt and disappears.
The US Coast Guard, receive an anonymous call advising of a killing spree aboard a yacht approaching California. On securing the vessel they find a woman's body, lots of blood and a weapon belonging to Buddy Santiago. A woman named Peg Jensen, a survivor of an encounter with Santiago is taken into custody. There is no sign of Santiago.

The rampage of Buddy continues on mainland USA. The pursuit now driven by the FBI, Calin Roberts, Jackson's number one supporter, and a TV program called Behind the News traces Buddy murderous spree across mainland USA. The story culminates in an explosive confrontation.

Read JFK's Other Son to learn the till now untold story of Jackson Moffatt, JFK's other son.
I have a second manuscript featuring the character Calin Roberts nearing completion.





This is my latest attempt at writing a query letter. Please tell me how it can be improved.
Thanks
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