Lord,
long before
I was ever born
You knew I'd face this day

here I stand
so afraid and torn
feeling battered in every way

why can't I just
drop to my knees
to lift up silent prayer

I'm sorry, Lord,
but I'm so afraid
that this time You're not here

Oh, my God,
I'm begging You,
please don't turn away
because my mind became so rattled
when I heard the doctor say,
"bring her back on Friday --
we need to check some other things --
'just to be on the safe side'"
these words no comfort brings

Lord,
long before
I was ever born
You knew I'd face this day
now
I kneel before you
searching for the words to pray

and
as I kneel here weeping
searching deep inside for trust
You come and kneel beside me
whispering
"continue weeping if you must."

Then You hold me closely, saying
"You never need despair
for every time You call Me
I am always here

And, yes,
long before
you were ever born
I knew this day would come,
that you would suffer
through these doubts
but, I this I also knew
I would be here by your side
to give you comfort, grace and love"

jbh
8-13-18