Humor Poetry posted August 6, 2018

This work has reached the exceptional level
a contest entry

Lucky Me

by Mark Valentine

Pet peeves poem about spouse/partne Contest Winner 
Thank you Captain Obvious for pointing out to me
That toilet seats should be put down each time after I pee.
That stoves are hot, and knives are sharp when made of tungsten steel.
(Amazing that you know this, though you’ve never cooked a meal).

And when it’s raining cats and dogs, I’d be one sorry fella,
Without your voice instructing me “Remember your umbrella!”
Then later, when the skies clear up and all is nice and sunny,
I’d waste time playing golf, but you remind me that costs money.

And when we go to parties, I’d be absolutely sunk,
If you weren’t there to calculate how many beers I’ve drunk.
Each day with you’s like Christmas, with you as my Mrs. Claus,
Giving me the priceless gift of pointing out my flaws.

So very well I know your voice, I think you’d be surprised
By just how much of your instruction I’ve internalized.
For instance, even when you’re gone, I know to mow the grass,
Because I somehow feel your presence climbing up my ass.

What a lucky man I am to have you as my wife,
And know I’ll hear that helpful voice for my entire life!
So much ministration freely given to one guy.
I can’t believe my luck and so I stop and ask God “Why”?

Writing Prompt
A poem about the pet peeves your spouse or partner aggrevates you with daily!
Any style, length, rhyming or not. Have fun!

Pet peeves poem about spouse/partne
Contest Winner
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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