General Fiction posted May 30, 2018

This work has reached the exceptional level
Monkeying around can define your life!

Stop Monkeying Around!

by G. Bishop

I had my chance! I had my chance. I know! I know! But Grandma...

No buts, Stevie. I'm sick and tired of hearing your lame excuses about why you find yourself in predicament-after-predicament. Over-and-over, I hear the same thing.

But Grandma...

Stevie, just shut up and listen. Can you do that?

Yes, Ma'am!

At least once every year since your mother died -- God rest her soul -- I've heard nothing but lies about the 'chance' standing on your doorsteps. Remember, you came to me last year telling me you had a chance for a courier's job, but you needed a car? You also needed a co-signer? Stupid me, I co-signed for you. Needless to say -- even when you got a job -- You were too lazy to pay the car note. Do you remember everything I had to go through to clear my credit? I had to deal with the lender about the amount due on the balance after the repo sale. Guess who had to pay it? Huh? You? Of course not, because you were nowhere to be found. I had to pay it! I know my name is Dora, but I never thought it was Dumb Dora!

I told you I was sorry, Grandmother...

Just hush up! Then the year before that...what was it? You said you had a chance to get an apartment for you and your girlfriend who had just had a baby. Remember? You needed help with the first and last month's rent? But, that's not all. You have come asking me to bail you out of all kinds of trouble: Get me out of jail! Help me pay my rent! Help me buy food for my baby! Whatever! I kept going into my pocket to help you rectify the damages done because of the 'chances' you have taken. My hair turned white long before I got old - and not for chances I took. It was for the chances you have taken. Your mother is probably turning over in her grave right now because of all of this. But, I swear I won't let you send me to my grave before my time.

But Grandma, if you would only give me a chance to explain...

Not on your life! Not on your life! You can't tell me anything that I haven't heard before, and if I let you keep talking, that I won't hear again.

But, but...

The only butt I'm interested in is the one sitting on my couch, and I'm going to tell you what you can do with that butt. Pull your diaper off! Wipe your butt! Put on your big boy pants!
Then get out of my face and on with your life! In other words, stop monkeying around!

Well, well...

Don't dig a well in my house either or I'm likely to push you into it. You see, you have been able to talk your way out of all your problems by laying them on your mother, then on me. Shame on you! Shame on you! Why don't you want to bear your own burdens? You don't need me to help you bear your burdens when God stands ready to help you bear them.

But Grandma, if you help me this last time...

Do I look like the Bank of America or Wells Fargo? No! If you were to go to any bank and they saw you coming, they would lock the doors and call the police thinking you were coming to try and rob them -- the same way you have been robbing me!

Grandma, that's not fair!

Maybe not son, but listen -- really listen -- to what is really fair: No one is given just one chance. We are all given many chances. In fact, as long as you, and all of us, have life within us -- we have time and chance according to the Good Book. It says in Ecclesiastes 9:11, "time and chance happen to us all." This means, when we open our eyes each morning, we know God has given us more time. Then we take a chance every time we decide how we are going to use this time.

Grandma, how long is this going to take?

Why? You have somewhere to go? Am I taking too much of your time? You started taking up my time the minute you entered my door!

Okay, Grandma!

Do you remember how many times you took a chance with the lottery, thinking you just might become a millionaire. All that money you have spent on lottery tickets that could have paid your rent. Could have paid your car note. Could have started a savings account for you or your baby. Try to think of how to be a good steward of your time, talents, and resources!

Alright, Grandma. I see I'm wasting my time. I'll see you later.

Much later, Stevie!

Lord, don't think I've given up on Stevie. I haven't, but I know you have more time than I -- and you don't take chances! Amen

This Sentence Starts The Story contest entry


"The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again..." - Psalms 37:21
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