| Humor Fiction posted May 26, 2018 | Chapters: |
...16 17 -18- 19... 
|
  |
edification about birds...
A chapter in the book Prissy's Corner
Prissy's Corner #18 - Birdbrains
by Dawn Munro
.jpg)
Did you know that bird's brains are not "bird-brain" at all? I bet you didn't, because humans use that demeaning term for people who aren't very smart.
But birds are smart. Maybe they're smarter than I gave them credit for too, I must admit. What I am about to tell you, you might find hard to believe, but I swear -- it's the gospel truth.
Mommy's birds have found us. (You know she feeds them, right?) Well, the pigeon she wrote the hilarious poem about ("Love Shack") sat on the part of our air conditioner that juts outside, cooing when Mom was late putting out the seed. Then, when it didn't get the banquet it was expecting, it hopped onto the window sill. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but that bird has done it every time Mommy is late since the beginning of April -- maybe sooner than that, but I didn't notice because I sleep a lot.
Now it's time for my usual meandering...
Did you know cats need to sleep a lot? We spend about 70% of our lives sleeping. But never mind that -- back to the birds. The sparrows have found us too. They sit in the tree outside our bedroom window and sing. Or maybe it's scolding. I'm a cat -- I don't speak bird. But they sure are bold for little birds. One sparrow sits in the closest branch to the window -- inches away from me, and I'm no slouch for a cat. I weigh about 22 pounds!
But I guess I digressed again and forgot to tell you that I helped Mom write that poem about the pigeon -- that's why it's so funny. Mom's okay, but her humor is a bit dry sometimes. She doesn't play enough. That's what she used to say about me when I had those painful bladder stones. But of course, she didn't know I had stones, though she told the vet I looked uncomfortable a couple of times. I guess those stones take time to form well (and cause real symptoms).
Anyway, I'll come back in a minute. I have to go and get some research now about birds and their brains. Oh, you think I didn't know that some of you are skeptics? Listen, I told you way back when I started this column that you humans do not sleep enough. We felines are smart because we do. So I will get the proof of what I'm telling you. Back in a tail twitch.
Well, I'm back. I promised research results, and they're below, in the author's notes. Instead of including the boring stuff here, though, I found a forum I thought was quite a delight, so that's what I' sharing here. (You're welcome.)
THavoc wrote:
Quote:
Birds are smart. They use tools, engage in social learning, plan for the future, and do a variety of other things that were once thought to be exclusively the stuff of primates.
Schizoid wrote back to him:
Quote:
Get back to me when they can do physics experiments like cats can.
To which THavoc replied:
They do.
Of course, not to be outdone, Schizoid referred to earlier in their conversation, when THavoc said PNAS shows size doesn't matter:
That's what I keep telling my girlfriend!
Then some other countries are heard from--
skinlo
(Smack-Fu Master, in training)
Quote:
I wonder what would happen if you could somehow modify the human brain to have the same density of a birds brain?
Ostracus
Quote:
What do you think they're using all those neurons for?
trapper answers:
(a Wise, Aged Ars Veteran)
Quote:
We'd probably die since our brains would be marbles rolling around inside of our skulls.
S_T_R pipes up:
Quote:
If birds are so smart, then why can't they stop me from eating them by the bucket?
(I'll show myself out)
The forum didn't say who posted this:
And stay out!
I, Prissy, thought it quite a good question. (*Cheshire grin.* Pardon the feather dangling from my lip.)
Love Shack
(the poem I told you about, by Dawn, AKA Mommy)
(and if you REALLY want to have some fun, play the video below it WITH it and sing the poem AS LYRICS - it works - honest)
A pigeon has adopted me -
I don't know what to do.
It waits for me each morning,
and man, that bird can poo!
You see, I feed the sparrows,
and began to use my stoop.
A snowfall hides the bread crumbs,
but I didn't think of poop
when I decided I would bring
the birds up to my door.
But now this pigeon eats the seeds
and crumbs, and then wants more.
It's cold outside, and I feel bad -
the pigeon sits and waits.
It snowed and still it sat there,
so I sorted through my crates
and taped some plastic to a box.
Inside I placed some weight -
at least it's some protection
for this creature I can't hate.
In blowing snow and icy wind,
no longer spooked by me,
it fixes me with loving gaze,
its head cocked trustingly.
I think perhaps the pigeon thinks
it's found an easy mark.
I'm pigeon-holed as sucker - help!
These turds are no darn lark!
The pigeon thinks I like it, and
its feathers spread disease.
So if you have an answer,
won't you share it, pretty please,
'cuz even worse than feathers are
the pigeon's deadly poop.
Bacteria in birdie crap
now lives upon my stoop,
and what if this cute pigeon
coos to call a pretty mate?
Before long there could be a
dozen pigeons I can't hate!
The doorway to my home could
be awash in pigeon poop!
I guess I never should have made
a cardboard pigeon coop.
Did you know that bird's brains are not "bird-brain" at all? I bet you didn't, because humans use that demeaning term for people who aren't very smart.
But birds are smart. Maybe they're smarter than I gave them credit for too, I must admit. What I am about to tell you, you might find hard to believe, but I swear -- it's the gospel truth.
Mommy's birds have found us. (You know she feeds them, right?) Well, the pigeon she wrote the hilarious poem about ("Love Shack") sat on the part of our air conditioner that juts outside, cooing when Mom was late putting out the seed. Then, when it didn't get the banquet it was expecting, it hopped onto the window sill. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but that bird has done it every time Mommy is late since the beginning of April -- maybe sooner than that, but I didn't notice because I sleep a lot.
Now it's time for my usual meandering...
Did you know cats need to sleep a lot? We spend about 70% of our lives sleeping. But never mind that -- back to the birds. The sparrows have found us too. They sit in the tree outside our bedroom window and sing. Or maybe it's scolding. I'm a cat -- I don't speak bird. But they sure are bold for little birds. One sparrow sits in the closest branch to the window -- inches away from me, and I'm no slouch for a cat. I weigh about 22 pounds!
But I guess I digressed again and forgot to tell you that I helped Mom write that poem about the pigeon -- that's why it's so funny. Mom's okay, but her humor is a bit dry sometimes. She doesn't play enough. That's what she used to say about me when I had those painful bladder stones. But of course, she didn't know I had stones, though she told the vet I looked uncomfortable a couple of times. I guess those stones take time to form well (and cause real symptoms).
Anyway, I'll come back in a minute. I have to go and get some research now about birds and their brains. Oh, you think I didn't know that some of you are skeptics? Listen, I told you way back when I started this column that you humans do not sleep enough. We felines are smart because we do. So I will get the proof of what I'm telling you. Back in a tail twitch.
Well, I'm back. I promised research results, and they're below, in the author's notes. Instead of including the boring stuff here, though, I found a forum I thought was quite a delight, so that's what I' sharing here. (You're welcome.)
THavoc wrote:
Quote:
Birds are smart. They use tools, engage in social learning, plan for the future, and do a variety of other things that were once thought to be exclusively the stuff of primates.
Schizoid wrote back to him:
Quote:
Get back to me when they can do physics experiments like cats can.
To which THavoc replied:
They do.
Of course, not to be outdone, Schizoid referred to earlier in their conversation, when THavoc said PNAS shows size doesn't matter:
That's what I keep telling my girlfriend!
Then some other countries are heard from--
skinlo
(Smack-Fu Master, in training)
Quote:
I wonder what would happen if you could somehow modify the human brain to have the same density of a birds brain?
Ostracus
Quote:
What do you think they're using all those neurons for?
trapper answers:
(a Wise, Aged Ars Veteran)
Quote:
We'd probably die since our brains would be marbles rolling around inside of our skulls.
S_T_R pipes up:
Quote:
If birds are so smart, then why can't they stop me from eating them by the bucket?
(I'll show myself out)
The forum didn't say who posted this:
And stay out!
I, Prissy, thought it quite a good question. (*Cheshire grin.* Pardon the feather dangling from my lip.)
Love Shack
(the poem I told you about, by Dawn, AKA Mommy)
(and if you REALLY want to have some fun, play the video below it WITH it and sing the poem AS LYRICS - it works - honest)
A pigeon has adopted me -
I don't know what to do.
It waits for me each morning,
and man, that bird can poo!
You see, I feed the sparrows,
and began to use my stoop.
A snowfall hides the bread crumbs,
but I didn't think of poop
when I decided I would bring
the birds up to my door.
But now this pigeon eats the seeds
and crumbs, and then wants more.
It's cold outside, and I feel bad -
the pigeon sits and waits.
It snowed and still it sat there,
so I sorted through my crates
and taped some plastic to a box.
Inside I placed some weight -
at least it's some protection
for this creature I can't hate.
In blowing snow and icy wind,
no longer spooked by me,
it fixes me with loving gaze,
its head cocked trustingly.
I think perhaps the pigeon thinks
it's found an easy mark.
I'm pigeon-holed as sucker - help!
These turds are no darn lark!
The pigeon thinks I like it, and
its feathers spread disease.
So if you have an answer,
won't you share it, pretty please,
'cuz even worse than feathers are
the pigeon's deadly poop.
Bacteria in birdie crap
now lives upon my stoop,
and what if this cute pigeon
coos to call a pretty mate?
Before long there could be a
dozen pigeons I can't hate!
The doorway to my home could
be awash in pigeon poop!
I guess I never should have made
a cardboard pigeon coop.
But birds are smart. Maybe they're smarter than I gave them credit for too, I must admit. What I am about to tell you, you might find hard to believe, but I swear -- it's the gospel truth.
Mommy's birds have found us. (You know she feeds them, right?) Well, the pigeon she wrote the hilarious poem about ("Love Shack") sat on the part of our air conditioner that juts outside, cooing when Mom was late putting out the seed. Then, when it didn't get the banquet it was expecting, it hopped onto the window sill. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but that bird has done it every time Mommy is late since the beginning of April -- maybe sooner than that, but I didn't notice because I sleep a lot.
Now it's time for my usual meandering...
Did you know cats need to sleep a lot? We spend about 70% of our lives sleeping. But never mind that -- back to the birds. The sparrows have found us too. They sit in the tree outside our bedroom window and sing. Or maybe it's scolding. I'm a cat -- I don't speak bird. But they sure are bold for little birds. One sparrow sits in the closest branch to the window -- inches away from me, and I'm no slouch for a cat. I weigh about 22 pounds!
But I guess I digressed again and forgot to tell you that I helped Mom write that poem about the pigeon -- that's why it's so funny. Mom's okay, but her humor is a bit dry sometimes. She doesn't play enough. That's what she used to say about me when I had those painful bladder stones. But of course, she didn't know I had stones, though she told the vet I looked uncomfortable a couple of times. I guess those stones take time to form well (and cause real symptoms).
Anyway, I'll come back in a minute. I have to go and get some research now about birds and their brains. Oh, you think I didn't know that some of you are skeptics? Listen, I told you way back when I started this column that you humans do not sleep enough. We felines are smart because we do. So I will get the proof of what I'm telling you. Back in a tail twitch.
Well, I'm back. I promised research results, and they're below, in the author's notes. Instead of including the boring stuff here, though, I found a forum I thought was quite a delight, so that's what I' sharing here. (You're welcome.)
THavoc wrote:
Quote:
Birds are smart. They use tools, engage in social learning, plan for the future, and do a variety of other things that were once thought to be exclusively the stuff of primates.
Schizoid wrote back to him:
Quote:
Get back to me when they can do physics experiments like cats can.
To which THavoc replied:
They do.
Of course, not to be outdone, Schizoid referred to earlier in their conversation, when THavoc said PNAS shows size doesn't matter:
That's what I keep telling my girlfriend!
Then some other countries are heard from--
skinlo
(Smack-Fu Master, in training)
Quote:
I wonder what would happen if you could somehow modify the human brain to have the same density of a birds brain?
Ostracus
Quote:
What do you think they're using all those neurons for?
trapper answers:
(a Wise, Aged Ars Veteran)
Quote:
We'd probably die since our brains would be marbles rolling around inside of our skulls.
S_T_R pipes up:
Quote:
If birds are so smart, then why can't they stop me from eating them by the bucket?
(I'll show myself out)
The forum didn't say who posted this:
And stay out!
I, Prissy, thought it quite a good question. (*Cheshire grin.* Pardon the feather dangling from my lip.)
Love Shack
(the poem I told you about, by Dawn, AKA Mommy)
(and if you REALLY want to have some fun, play the video below it WITH it and sing the poem AS LYRICS - it works - honest)
A pigeon has adopted me -
I don't know what to do.
It waits for me each morning,
and man, that bird can poo!
You see, I feed the sparrows,
and began to use my stoop.
A snowfall hides the bread crumbs,
but I didn't think of poop
when I decided I would bring
the birds up to my door.
But now this pigeon eats the seeds
and crumbs, and then wants more.
It's cold outside, and I feel bad -
the pigeon sits and waits.
It snowed and still it sat there,
so I sorted through my crates
and taped some plastic to a box.
Inside I placed some weight -
at least it's some protection
for this creature I can't hate.
In blowing snow and icy wind,
no longer spooked by me,
it fixes me with loving gaze,
its head cocked trustingly.
I think perhaps the pigeon thinks
it's found an easy mark.
I'm pigeon-holed as sucker - help!
These turds are no darn lark!
The pigeon thinks I like it, and
its feathers spread disease.
So if you have an answer,
won't you share it, pretty please,
'cuz even worse than feathers are
the pigeon's deadly poop.
Bacteria in birdie crap
now lives upon my stoop,
and what if this cute pigeon
coos to call a pretty mate?
Before long there could be a
dozen pigeons I can't hate!
The doorway to my home could
be awash in pigeon poop!
I guess I never should have made
a cardboard pigeon coop.
~~~NOTES:
(I give up changing those stupid marks Evil Eddie insists on replacing common things, like quotation marks with... SHEESH!)
This is by Juliet Gellatley, founder & director, Viva! (BSc Zoology):
Chicken farming is the epitome of life is cheap. "Everyday" whole chickens sell for $2.48 at Tesco - all that suffering for 2.48. The numbers are crazy, close to one billion little lives wiped out each year in the UK alone. So much cruelty on a mind-boggling scale and so often excused by ignorance. I've heard them all: "But chickens are stupid - they don't feel or have emotions, and even, "Are chickens even animals?"
People celebrate the smartness of wild birds yet dismiss chickens as being unintelligent, worthless. In fact, birds display human skills: magpies recognise themselves in a mirror; New Caledonian crows make tools; and African grey parrots count and categorise objects by colour and shape.
Chickens' high level of intelligence made studying them something of a challenge...
Scientists and those who live with hens have learned that they can be cunning and wily and can communicate in sophisticated ways comparable with some primates, just as the cognitive abilities of all crows are equal to chimps and gorillas. Roosters protect females, chickens solve complex problems and mother hens emotionally empathise with their chicks.
The Scientific American reckons: "Chickens are smart and understand their world, which raises troubling questions about how they are treated on factory farms." And researchers at Macquarie University in Australia recently found that chickens' high level of intelligence made studying them something of a challenge.
Birds would deliberately subvert experiments to their advantage. In large, outdoor spaces with lots of vegetation, an enclosed area was set up which showed TV footage of a cockerel shaking his wattle, which a female finds very attractive because it means he has found food for her and the larger the wattle the more the testosterone. (Isn't that the way!)
Hens had to wait to for the door to be opened but one, hen 007, became impatient and examined the lock mechanism closely, turning her head from side to side. After a few moments, she carefully plucked the wire that controlled the latch, the door opened and 007 got what she wanted, to be close to the guy and his food. She never waited again, even though the latch configuration was changed several times.
Scientists have known since the 1940s that roosters perform complex visual displays to attract the ladies when they find food. The most prominent display is called tidbitting, where the boss man (alpha male) food-calls and rhythmically moves his head and neck, picking up and dropping food items. The females respond and approach the fancy male to accept their gift, the dominant females being the most likely to win the morsels.
Because the birds are often secretive, hiding in long grass and bushes, observers had missed some of the underlying dramas which showed that subordinate males can be (and I quote:) "Devious bastards!" However, with the aid of multiple, high-definition cameras, small groups of birds in large outdoor enclosures were monitored and showed surreptitious techniques in a way previously thought impossible for the birds to attract females without being chased and pecked by alpha males. They performed only the visual part of tidbitting, without food-calling. To those who live with hens, this isn't surprising, but scientists were shocked to discover the range of conscious judgments made by chickens.
by Prissy:
There's more, but that's all you will probably read anyway. You have plans at Swiss Chalet, don't you? Or maybe it's Kentucky Fried tonight... Sorry, birds. (Mommy is too.)
You need to login or register to write reviews. It's quick! We only ask four questions to new members.
© Copyright 2024. Dawn Munro All rights reserved. Registered copyright with FanStory.
Dawn Munro has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
