Humor Poetry posted December 21, 2017

This work has reached the exceptional level
a roast of closetpoetjester

The Thunder from Down Under

by Mark Valentine

Is It Hot In Here? A FanStory Roast Contest Winner 
She comes from Down Under, her poems make you wonder
What muses they draw from down south.
She peppers her verses with all kinds of curses
(Does she kiss her mum with that mouth?)
Fanstorians say, “Keep the children away”
Whenever she’s out of her closet.
The last poem she wrote featured this, (and I quote),
“Sex addict blows his deposit.”
And yet I admit it, she’s so darn quick-witted,
It’s hard not to fall for her guile.
Her paved road to hell, she has camouflaged well
Behind a coy Cheshire Cat smile.
She’s playfully naughty and magna cum laude
When it comes to double entendres.
And so I succumb to the beat of her drum,
And follow wherever she wanders.
Her ways are unrighteous, I know that I might just
Forfeit my soul if I read her,
But her form is so tight, that it just feels right
When I am immersed in her meter.
And then there’s the rhyming, the puns, and the timing -
They pull you right into their vortex.
You feel yourself sinking, your junk does your thinking,
Unleashed from your cerebral cortex.

The writing’s exciting, there’s no use in fighting
The tension that quickly crescendoes.
There’s no turning back now, she’s in full attack now
With sexually charged innuendoes.
You’re now at her mercy, with each clever verse she
Will summon her sirenic power,
There’s no way to beat her, so before you read her,
Go douse yourself with a cold shower.


Writing Prompt

Is there a fellow FanStory author you'd like to get in a good-natured jab or two against?
Well, here's your chance!
Write a poem of four stanzas or more to "roast" a fellow Fanstorian.
A roast is defined as such:
A roast is a form of American humor in which a specific individual, a guest of honor, is subjected to jokes at their expense. It is intended to amuse the event's wider audience. Such events are intended to honor a specific individual in a unique way. ~ Wikipedia
Use any form of poetry you choose.
Pictures, animations and anything else at your disposal are also acceptable.
It's Christmas so get into the spirit of giving and give your Roastee what-for!
All I ask is that you keep it clean, and have fun.

Is It Hot In Here? A FanStory Roast
Contest Winner


I'm not sure if this saying exists in other parts of the world, but the phrase "Does she kiss her mum with that mouth?" is a variant of "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?", which we, in the US, say to someone who is excessively using profanity.

For those of you who have not read closetpoetjester's work, visit her site immediately - she is funny and a great writer.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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© Copyright 2018. Mark Valentine All rights reserved.
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