Spiritual Non-Fiction posted December 17, 2017 Chapters:  ...5 6 -7- 8... 

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Tear it Down

A chapter in the book Beauty for Ash and Stone

Control - Day 7

by MelB

The author has placed a warning on this post for sexual content.

Christian Devotional for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Day 7

~ Control ~

Sexual assault is a traumatic loss of control.  An individual’s right to make decisions about their body and contact they have with another person is destroyed.  Your whole life has been turned upside down and you may believe you will never have control over it again.  After the assault, this loss of control may result in difficulty making decisions or asserting feelings and needs.  For others, there is a subconscious decision to “never let another person control me again.”  This can result in controlling everything in your life, and everyone around you.  For some survivors of childhood sexual abuse, mostly boys, an extreme form of control ensues by becoming the abuser, ensuring they will “never again be the victim.”

In day 5 and 6, we discussed shame and fear.  Shame, fear, and control go together and form a stronghold of a counterfeit identity in our mind.  Great Bible Study.com defines a stronghold as a faulty thinking pattern based on lies and deception.   Deception is one of the primary weapons of the devil, because it sets the stage for a stronghold.  Strongholds are designed to cause us to think in ways which block us from God’s best for us. 

Shame, fear, and control were first introduced to mankind in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:6-10).  When Adam and Eve were tricked by the devil, into eating fruit from the tree God had instructed them not to touch, they immediately felt shame and realized they were naked.  They were fearful and took control by making fig leaves to cover themselves.  When they heard God walking in the garden, they felt fear and shame and hid from God.  The human race has been hiding from God since. 

I tried to take control of my life by pleasing everyone else around me.  I had difficulty making decisions, and thought others would approve of me if I never had an opinion.  I was perfectionistic, a workaholic and worked out at the gym for two hours a day, six days a week.  I tried marijuana, got drunk on alcohol, and suffered from an eating disorder.  I was ashamed of my body and the abuse, and I was afraid others would find out my secret.  This kept me in a perpetual stronghold of shame, fear, and control for 30 years.

So, how do we get rid of a stronghold?  Since a stronghold comes from the enemy, we counter it with God’s truth.  The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:4, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.”  In John 8:31-36, Jesus tells us that we can be held in bondage due to strongholds in our lives.  But God’s word is truth, and as we meditate on it, strongholds are broken!

What’s your biggest struggle right now?  Google search scripture on it.  Read the scripture and pick out the verses that stand out to you.  Write them on a 3 x 5 card and renew your mind by reading them every day for a week.     


Many more subjects to cover. Do you think this will be helpful for survivors of sexual abuse? Which exercises do you like best?

Thanks for reading!
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