Humor Fiction posted July 16, 2017

This work has reached the exceptional level
A Tom and Carol story.

New Pants

by Thomas Bowling

As Tom walked in the front door, Carol looked up from her book. “Where in the world did you get the pants?” 

“Save-A-Lot. They're having a sale.”

“Isn't Save-A-Lot a grocery store?”

“Yeah, but they just opened a clothing department. They've got great deals on seconds.”

“That explains why one pant leg is two inches shorter than the other. Where did you find those, beside
the frozen turkeys?”

Tom looked at his new pants in the full-length mirror. “They're pretty stylish, don't you think?”

“What do you call that style, old men's ugly golf pants?”

“I think they look good.”

“Compared to what? Why bell bottoms? People don't wear those anymore.”

“Sure, they do. I see them all the time.”

“Did you get the loaf of bread I sent you for?”

“Sorry, I forgot.”

“Well, then, what took so long?”

“There was a line. Can you believe they only have one fitting room?”

“I can't imagine.”

“Yeah, it's weird.”

“Not as weird as those red and yellow plaid pants.”

“The sales girl said they're unique. I was going to buy another pair, but I couldn't find any more in my size.”

“Somehow I knew there was a girl involved. Okay, Tim Gunn, but why plaid?”

“They match the shirt. I'll go try it on.”

“Please, don't. Why didn't you pick up a zoot suit while you were there?”

“Do guys still wear those?”

“You tell me. You have two of them in the closet.”

“They're coming back in style. Good fashion always does.”

“Have fun in your new pants. I'm going to the store to get a loaf of bread.”

“If you go to Save-A-Lot, check out the dresses. They have a granny dress like they used to wear in the seventies. I was going to get it for you, but I don't know what size you wear.”


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