A little bit of backstory. Sneaky Pete's Bar opened in 1965 with Pete the owner and bartender, Roger the cook and partner, Betty the waitress is also a partner. They've been together for 51 years. Two months ago during a heavy ice storm, they heard a loud scream outside the bar. It was Emma, just about to deliver her baby. Unable to get any medical help, it was Betty who delivered Rose into this world. They listened to Emma tell how she was kicked out of her house, even though she was only sixteen years old but nine months pregnant. Betty, Pete, and Roger quickly accepted her into their little family. One more thing, above the cash register, is a 1953 calendar of Marilyn Monroe in the nude. The story is told with Betty's POV.


Estelle, Emma and I all pour out of Estelle's 1970 Delta 88, laughing our heads off. Estelle is trying to tell us a dirty joke again and she can never get one right.

Estelle hollers, “I don't know why you two always laugh before I get to the punch line?”

Wiping my eyes, I slowly say, “Because you screw them up every time, sweetie! Which makes it funnier than the joke ever was. He's supposed to pound her!”

I can see the wheels turning in Estelle's mind then she says, “Oh, I did screw it up. Well, I could think of a few men I'd like to pound.”

Emma and I fall into each other, Emma says, “Please make her stop, mama Betty. My belly hurts.”

“I can't, sweetie. We just got to accept her the way she is, CRAZY!”

We slowly walk to the back of Estelle's golden tank. This old car looks just like it did when she drove it home from the dealer then put it in her garage. Estelle opens the huge trunk so we can collect all the stuff we bought for the Christmas party tonight. I look at Estelle. “My goodness, Estelle, you could hide at least four men back here to pound later.”

Emma cracks up again.

“Hey, what's that box of presents doing here?” I ask.

Emma speaks up, “That's the gifts I bought for all of you. I'm passing them out after dinner.”

“You mean you have a present for me? I told you not to buy me anything. Just having you and Rose to love is more than enough for me.”

Emma puts her hand on her hip. “Well, you can fuss all you want to, it's too late now. I bought you, Roger, Pete, Estelle, and even Jimmy a present. I took an old school picture of mine then put it in a Dollar Store frame. It just shows my face, I'm sure he can imagine the rest. I'd like to hear him explain that picture to his wife, though.”

Estelle and I crack up again, “Girl, you've been around me too long. What did you get Pete and Roger?”

“I was walking home from working Wendy's day shift and in a vacant lot was a man set up, selling wooden things he'd made. It was mostly religious signs and crosses but he had a bald-headed man's hairbrush. I couldn't pass them up.”

I look at Emma then smile. “What the crap is a bald-headed man's hairbrush?”

Emma laughs a little. “Well, it's a piece of wood in the shape of a hairbrush. But it has no bristles. Now, they can pretend to brush their hair all they want to. They spend most of the day moving their imaginary hair around anyway.”

Now my belly hurts. “Oh, sweetie! Roger will get it, but Pete won't. Wait and see.”

We finally gather up all twenty of the Wal-Mart sacks and the box full of presents then head towards Sneaky Pete's. We open the front door and foul odor assaults us. I look at Emma and we say it at the same time, “Rose finally blew-up.” She had been a little constipated lately. From the smell, not now!

Emma looks at Pete and Roger then says, “What the crap are you doing to my baby?”

They both have their aprons pulled way up over their noses. Roger has his kitchen tongs holding the diaper away from them. Rose is naked, smiling and playing, lying on a towel in the center of the bar with powder all around her. Nasty baby wipes are scattered everywhere. It looks like a poop bomb went off in here.

Pete hollers, “I can't help it. Rose started to smile then made a funny face at us. Next, came this awful gurgling sound from her bottom. Rose started laughing and did it again! We slowly took her sleeper off and it went all the way up her back to her hair and all the way to her toes. What have you been feeding this baby? I have never seen poop that color of yellow before. Oh, the odor was awful. It sure cleaned out the bar. Except for Cheryl and Tammy over there, cracking up at us!”

Cheryl speaks up, “That was the funniest thing I've seen in years. The frightened look on your faces when you took the sleeper off. My goodness!” They both start cackling again. “We just had to see what they would do. I've never seen a diaper taken off with a pair of kitchen tongs before, hysterical!”

Estelle and I sit down at their table for the blow by blow account.

Emma walks behind the bar then says, “What's a matter, boys? Are you afraid to get a little poop on you? Believe me, it won't hurt you any.” Rose starts to coo at her mother's voice. “I see you, baby. What were they doing to you, uh? All afraid of a little poop.” Rose continues to coo at Emma.

Pete and Roger are amazed at the noise Rose cooing. “When did she start doing that, Emma?” Pete asks.

“All babies coo when they're about two-months-old. You just got to talk to them in a sweet voice. Isn't that right, sweetie.” Rose, lights up then coos at her mother.

Pete and Roger are glowing again.

Emma says, “Roger, look in her bag and get Rose out another sleeper, please. I'll walk her home and give her a bath. Did she get any poop on her car seat?”

“No, she didn't.” Roger answers, “What are those sleepers made out of, Teflon?”

Emma laughs, “No, just cotton Roger. Mama Betty, will you help Pete and Roger clean this mess up while I take Rose home and give her a quick bath? Then we'll come back and decorate the bar.” Rose starts cooing when Emma slides a baby blanket over the car seat. You can see the blanket moving by her kicking feet.

Roger asks, “How come you cover her up like that?”

“The cover keeps the breeze off of her, but she usually kicks it off. I'll be right back, family. Stay out of the presents Pete and Roger!” Emma heads for the door with her long black ponytail swaying back and forth with each step. She looks absolutely gorgeous in my old designer jeans and a Grateful Dead tie-dye from my hippie days.

Roger looks over at me. “She's bought us presents, Betty?”

I'm slowly getting up. “Yes, she has.” I start gathering up the used baby wipes then grab a few wet towels from the kitchen to wipe off the bar.

Roger asks, “Does she know about the playpen and all of the stuff we bought for her and Rose.”

“No, I promise you, I haven't said a thing to her. I do know one of your presents, though. I can't wait to see the look on your faces.” I'm still wiping the bar down when a thought comes to mind, “You know, I haven't laughed or smiled this much in years and look at you two. Both of you are blubbering idiots around Emma and Rose. That girl has brought so much love into our lives. How can we ever repay her?”

Pete turns away then says, “I've got something to order in my office.” He grabs a tissue from his pocket then wipes his nose.

“There's a mess to clean up in the kitchen.” Roger catches a sob then flies into the kitchen.

I turn back to Cheryl and Tammy. They have tears in their eyes, “See, they're just two big softies, now! Cry at the drop of a hat!”

All three of us bust out laughing!

~

Two hours later, I'm sitting on my bar stool in the back of the bar watching this scene play out in front of me. Pete and Roger are helping Emma decorate the entire bar. If it doesn't move, Emma has put a piece of garland or a bow on it. She even decorated Marilyn's boobs. Green garland gives her a completely new look. To my amazement, there's actually a Christmas tree in the corner by the jukebox, blinking away. In my fifty-one years at this bar, there has never been a Christmas tree in here.

There's Pete rubbing his head, like always. But I've never seen a smile like that on his face. I always thought Roger would be a handsome man if he ever smiled. Now, he can't stop smiling. Yeah, he is kinda handsome for an old fart.

Emma says, “Well, I've run out of garland and bows. I guess this is the best we can do, boys. Thank you for all your help my knights in shining armor.” Emma stands on her tip toes then kisses Roger and Pete on the forehead.

They both turn ten shades of pink.

Rose is in her car seat, drifting off to a new show on Nick Jr. Something about a monster truck and his friends. I don't get this one. Jimmy is chatting with Cheryl and Tammy. I'm so glad they stayed. The two of them are divorced and they won't see their families until tomorrow. I hate to think of anybody alone on Christmas Eve. Having first-hand experience at being alone on Christmas Eve. Emma finds me hiding, a sly smile appears on her face, she starts my way, “What are doing hiding back here, mama Betty?” She sits down in my lap then kisses me on the cheek.

“Just nursing an Egg Nog and thinking about how much I love you, sweetie. That's all.”

“Me, too.” Emma hugs my neck.

We hear two timers go off in the kitchen. Roger jumps up, “The chicken and fries are done. Who's ready to eat?”

Everybody says, “me!”

“You made chicken for Christmas, Roger?” I ask.

“It's the best thing I do,” He cringes a little.

“Good idea.” I give him a big smile.

Roger sets everything up buffet style on the bar. Everybody jumps in line, but me. I'm taking pictures of everyone and all the decorations. I've never seen this place so full of life. I hope Pete never takes the decorations down. I need to post all of these on Facebook or nobody will ever believe it.

We took the two tables from the booths then put them together so everyone could gather around. We all finally get seated then Emma stands, “I want to pray with all of you. I know that religion caused my family to disown me. But God didn't fail me. He gave me a new family, full of true love. Please put your hands together and bow your heads.” We all do. “Dear Lord, we humbly come before you on this Christmas Eve. To celebrate the birth of our Savior. He gladly came to earth, to save our world, by giving up his life. We thank you for the greatest gift of all, Your Son. Please bless each of my wonderful friends and my new family. Know that their hearts are full of love. In Jesus` name, amen.”

Even Jimmy wipes the tears from his eyes.

I see Emma watching everyone open her presents to them. I can't believe she got me a vintage Hans Solo poster. She knows I love Harrison Ford with a passion. Emma leans over to me. “I didn't have enough money to get you a frame.”

“Don't worry sweetie. He'll be hanging by my bed, very soon!”

Jimmy is studying Emma's picture, trying to figure out how to get it home.

Estelle is thrilled with the oil change certificate at Supreme Muffler, the only garage she'll let work on her old car.

Cheryl and Tammy are noshing on Emma's homemade cookies. She sells them at a couple places in town, including Sneaky Pete's. Our dear friend, Judge Mark Agee loves them. He buys twenty dollars worth at a time. I don't know what we're going to do if the cookie business gets any bigger.

Roger is pretending to brush his hair with his bald-headed man's hairbrush and cracking up. He smells his Axe gift set. I don't know if I can stand both of them smelling up the place.

Pete is turning the bald-headed man's hairbrush over and over in his hands. You can tell he's thinking hard. I lean over to Emma, who's comparing cookie recipes with Estelle then whisper in her ear. “Look at Pete.” She sees Pete studying his present then cracks up. “I told you, sweetie.” Roger leans over then explains it to him. Pete shyly smiles at Emma then starts to cackle.

Cheryl takes it from him then says, “Let me style your hair for you, honey!” Pete leans over and she runs the pretend brush over his head. “Handsome as ever, Pete!” Cheryl and Tammy lean over then kiss him on the cheek.

The room explodes with laughter. We also wake up Rose.

~

It's after midnight, Cheryl and Tammy made sure Jimmy got home safely in their cab. I can hear Pete in the office and Roger in the kitchen, snoring away. Rose is asleep in her new playpen. I'm lying on a couple booth cushions on the floor. Emma is up looking at all the baby stuff we bought for Rose, shaking her head. There's a baby walker, baby swing, dresser, new blankets and plenty of clothes. I bought Emma a bunch of new school clothes including Khaki's, Polos and a new pair of Nike's. Emma looks at me with tears in her eyes then walks over. She slides in beside me then lays her head on my shoulder. “What's a matter, sweetie,” I ask.

“Mama Betty, I've never had a better Christmas. You guys are so good to Rose and me. That's more than my family has ever done for me.”

“Do you miss them, Emma?” I'm not sure I want to hear the answer.

“I used to, a little. Then one day, I was walking home and there was mom getting gas at the Marathon. She glared at me with so much hatred. I knew right then she's believed all of their lies, about how evil I've become. Walking home, I was so devastated I wanted to die. Then I opened your door and saw you playing with Rose. You looked at me with so much love. No, I don't miss them anymore.” Emma snuggles in a little more then drifts away to sleep.

Slowly, I look around at the changes this young woman has brought into all of our lives. I add a prayer of my own. “Dear Lord, I've never prayed before. I just want to thank you, Lord, for bringing this beautiful young woman and her daughter into our lives. In Jesus name, amen.”