General Fiction posted October 3, 2016

This work has reached the exceptional level
God and Satan try infomercials to reach people.


by Thomas Bowling

I was watching TV last night. At two AM the volume increased, as it usually does when an infomercial comes on.

"Hi, late nighters. This is Satan with an exciting offer. For a limited time, get my Satan's Super Sunscreen.

"Endorsed by Dr. Oz, this sunscreen is like no other on the market. It protects at temperatures up to 12,000 degrees centigrade. It comes with a full money back guarantee. Just send the unused portion back, and wait for a cold day in hell to get your money.

"But that's not all. Order now, and get a second bottle for the amazing price of the first. Credit cards not accepted. Only your soul will do."

At the next commercial break, another face appeared this one more serene.

"Hello, children. I've got an amazing offer, eternal life. It's good forever. Simply believe, and get on board the train for the pearly gates. Heaven awaits you. Most of your loved ones are already here. Come and join them. Your mansion awaits you. Choice lots are still available on Golden Lane. Just contact Eric Estrada for the details."

A fast speaking announcer's voice came on. "This offer not valid in Utah."

I waited for the special offer at the end, but there was none.

"That's not a deal," I said.

Two Commercials contest writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Write two commercials/ The Devil has an invention he wants to sell... God has invented a new product. Write an advertisement or Commercial of at least fifty words for each. If you want to make it a "jingle" or infomercial that is fine.One Heavenly product and one Satanic . Have fun!
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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