Sydney called her grandma at 2:00A.M. She had to talk to her. It took twenty minutes to drive to Gran's house after their short conversation.

Gran worried during her wait because Sydney had just gotten her license. Gran knew not to question her need to talk, though. The two were very close. Syd would not have called if it had not been important.

They sat quietly and held hands as Sydney told her she was pregnant. There was a long pause...
and then Gran said, "You probably would have handled your past differently. So now, don't live your future wishing you had handled it differently."

When Sydney eventually returned to school, she realized why Joe had never returned her phone calls. She had told him, face-to-face, after her visit with Gran. He was to be a father at age 17.
He didn't return calls because his mother and father had packed up the family and moved. "In no way was some 'lying tramp' going to keep their son from a football scholarship," she had said.

Sydney now felt justified in her decision to keep her child,but to have no future contact with Joe...she was determined he would never know she had kept their daughter. She knew she had made the right decision, but it didn't feel like it.

Four years later, half-way across the country, Joe was playing football for Ohio State on a full scholarship. He was a star receiver and was doing well in the college of engineering. Every now and then, though, thoughts of Syd went through his mind. The guilt, sometimes, laid heavily on his shoulders.

Sydney's father, had put in applications at eight schools to seek professorship in English Literature and Writing. His job at U.C.L.A. was no longer fulfilling and they wanted Zoey to have more of a midwest upbringing.

Ohio State sent a letter of acceptance after four interviews. They were packing up to move to Columbus, Ohio. Sydney was silent.

Walking across the oval, on campus, Sydney saw a group of guys running in front of her.
" Good holy crap!", she breathed. One was Joe. She knew he was here on the football team. But what were the chances of running into him in a school this big? She spun on her heels and sprinted to her dad's office. It killed her to not get to see him, talk to him, be with him. Those days were over.

Two years later and she and Zoey were sprinting to the bike rack outside their apartment. Graduation was this afternoon and she and Zoey had to pick up her gown packet.

Joe had already picked up his cap and gown and had then decided to go early to pick up his parents. His girlfriend, Bren, was picking Joe up. Just as Syd and Zoey got to the book store to pick up her package, Syd saw Joe get into a little Porsche. A woman was driving, of course.

Joe was trying to decide what to tell Bren. They were graduating and he knew she expected a ring. He just couldn't do it. Not until he found out what Syd was doing. He decided he had waited and buried his thoughts long enough. He had to put this aching to rest...whether his parents liked it,or not. Money didn't matter to Joe. That was all his parents talked about. He was being courted by several NFL/AFL teams, so he wasn't worried.

Sydney had made a decision, too. They had graduated and were moving on. But Zoey kept asking about her dad. Syd knew it was time . She picked up her phone and pressed the memorized-but-never-used numbers.

They met at the Columbus Zoo. Syd needed time with Joe so her Mom took Zoey for awhile.

Joe felt exhilarated then numb, mad, hysterical, then excited, and thrilled. Zoey walked from the carousel when she saw her Mom. This man was her Daddy...right over there.

Zoey walked with her head down. When she looked up, he was almost in front of her. She began running to him. Syd watched with tears rolling down. She watched as if this was all in slow motion. That's what, indeed it was. Their lives lived out in slow motion in the running of a little girl to the father she never knew.

Joe was going to marry Bren. They had been together for a long time. Time had changed the circumstances, and the hearts had to adjust. Syd had known he would never be hers. But she had their dear daughter.

Zoey knew it was going to be almost impossible to leave her Mom. They had been together always. She and her Dad and step-Mom, though, had a great relationship. So she was going to go to Florida State. Her Dad was with the Dolphins. He was paying her tuition, and Zoey was allowed to make her own decision. They promised Syd could visit anytime. Syd hugged them all...and said teary goodbyes over and over. The last thing she noticed was that Zoey and Joe looked so much alike. Even their laughs were the same.

Then Syd walked into her apartment. She was alone for the first time in her life. She had no more responsibilities, no more secrets, no more sadness, and no more lost battles.

She wished she could talk to Gran one more time, but she had died awhile back.

The last thing Syd said to her was,"I don't intend to live my future, wishing I had handled it differently." And now that Joe had made his choices and decisions, as he did long ago, she was free to make hers.