Humor Fiction posted September 18, 2016

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Response to Potlach Prose Challenge

Gay Marriage

by tfawcus

The challenge was to write two letters to the editor. One from each side of the issue. Write one letter for the topic and one against it. Since the idea of enshrining Gay Marriage into our legislation is very much in the news in Australia at the moment, I thought it might make a suitable topic...

I have recently read of the government's proposed Gay Marriage Bill, and may I say that I support the concept whole-heartedly, having been locked, for many years, into a marriage sadly lacking any gaiety. Like Phillis Wheatley, I yearn for:
"A town of gaiety and sport
Where beaux and beauteous nymphs resort"
Should such unadulterated gaiety be enshrined in legislation, I should be a happy man indeed.
Yours in eternal hope,

Dear Sir (if I may be so bold)
I hesitate to support the Gay Marriage bill, despite the fact that I have been brown-nosing my boss for years and kissing his arse on a daily basis. He in turn screws me at every turn. I believe that this natural symbiosis between the rich and the poor is fundamental to our great nation's ethos of pornographic materialism. However, there are times when I consider it to be a marriage made in hell, and I could not come at the idea of legislation that made it binding. Whilst I am happy to suck up to him for the sake of economic security, I draw the line at bondage. In fact, inspired by one of the great classics of Indian literature, I am currently seeking a change of position, and I would bend over backwards for the chance to join the editorial staff of your newspaper.
Please accept my humble fellations,
Archibald Arsenden


Sadly, I am right out of Members' Cents at the moment, but Mikey invited me to join in the fun. How could I possibly refuse such a kind invitation?

(Thanks to the generosity of EBC62, this post has now been promoted a little higher up the list)
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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