Married in haste, repenting at leisure.
My life is a waste and devoid of all pleasure.
Nothing has come of my plea up to God
So I've hired a hitman to kill the old sod.

I don't care how he does it, don't need to be told
As long as he leaves him deceased, stiff and cold.
When they tell me, I'll wail "Who would do this thing."
Whilst stroking his brow and removing his rings.

I will comfort his father and his grieving mother.
Put on a good show for his sister and brother.
His children won't bother, they couldn't care less,
They'll divide his belongings, fight over the best.

I'll take me a lover, I've someone in mind.
But I'm in no hurry, I've plenty of time.
I'll make the most of my life. I've nothing to lose.
This time next year I could be on a cruise.

Just checked his insurance, it's not up to date
So I'm phoning the hitman to tell him to wait.
Too late. It is done and he's dumped in the sea
And if I can't pay up. The next victim's ME.