Self Improvement Non-Fiction posted September 11, 2016

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Baby sitting my two year old and four year old grandsons

A Story That Is Simply Hard To Tell

by Abby Wilson-hand

I was babysitting my two grandsons Luke and Adrian, Luke is two and Adrian is four. The day started out perfect, breakfast and play time. We built a fort with all the couch cushions , blankets and pillows. We were having a great time together. I have mental problems that I can't seem to put behind me into the past. So I am on depression, anxiety medication for many years now. I'm always a stickler on children's safety.

After a while we made lunch,we also enjoyed some ice cream together. They were simply getting tired, they always took a nap every day so I allowed them to lay in the fort we built on cushions and covered up with their Minion blankets. They had fallen fast to sleep, so I lay on the couch I have had no medication yet that day because I was baby sitting,the day before I had carpel tunnel surgery ,so yes I was a bit tired myself. I had made sure they were sleeping and I fell asleep as well on the couch.

I woke up to the smell of Ben Gay, a horrible sight for me, the couscous one. They had gotten into my purse that was hidden. They took out all my medications out and my two year old grandson had them running down his chest and had thrown up from the taste. The four year old says sorry grandma. I freaked out I gathered them both up and took them to the Hospital immediately, with all that they had opened. I feel like the worse grandmother that has ever lived,they immediately put in I.V. Fluids and ran drug screens.

Adrian the four year old came back negative but little Luke came back positive.I could have just died, I could not believe what was going on he had gotten to where he looked drunk and not comprehensive. I cried so hard and could not stop the guilt ripped at me and I still feel guilty at this time , I don't think the guilt will ever go away. He had to be mercy flew to the children's hospital. He could not even walk without falling. Why oh why did this happen,? I should have not went to sleep with them.No Body should ever have to endure the feeling I went through and am still going through. It will always be guilt in my mind .

That day I learned a thing or two never try to hide something down low, lock up all medications, I would recommend telling them and drilling into their heads never play with anything that does not belong to them. This is the one story that is hard for me to tell because I know as your reading it I'm being judged. I would never intentionally hurt anyone especially my kids and my grand kids. I know it's hard for you to understand the whole thing, but it will never happen again I could have killed my grandson. I still will never forgive myself Ever!

The Story you don't wan to tell writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
The Story you don't want to tell

I know mine. My story was when I let the world hurt me. But what is the one story you don't want to tell? What is one memory you have that you still are afraid to let lose of. Do you still blame yourself? Most of the world will not understand. Were you ashamed of your self back then. I think if you write the story, the one you don't want to write, you might find who you are.

The story that I didn't want to tell but I thought it would make me feel better but it didn't help. People say accidents happen but this one could have been prevented . I hope someday someone will forgive me for my carelessness but I doubt it and I don't blame them.
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