Humor Fiction posted August 27, 2016 Chapters: 2 3 -4- 5... 

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a contest story, Amazing Pets - 704 wds

A chapter in the book Favorite Short Stories, Vol. 3

A Cockroach Named Harriet

by Ideasaregems-Dawn

Amazing pet!!! Contest Winner 

My pet is a cockroach named Harriet. I keep her in a bowl by my bed. Now, you'd think that a cockroach would roam, wouldn't you? But she doesn't. Harriet is extremely smart. She knows which side her bread is buttered on, and she knows her job is to stay close. You see, I hate other bugs, especially centipedes, and when it rains, the ugly creatures try to invade our space. Harriet is actually very pretty, especially for a species that's been around longer than the dinosaur.

But I have dusted the apartment with something called diatomaceous earth. It's all over the place, and I keep it down all the time. It doesn't hurt my cat, but it's deadly for bugs, and of course, that's what a cockroach is (although we only remind Harriet of that when she starts feeling a little antsy and wants to leave her bowl).

She's a good bug, most of the time, and she rarely gets sick. It's very inexpensive to keep a cockroach for a pet too--Harriet feasts like royalty on crumbs, and there are no vet bills to worry about.

Last fall I was a bit worried because she came down with a nasty cold, but my veterinarian wouldn't treat her. "I don't treat bugs," she said. I was a little upset because it seems to me all doctors treat bugs, but there wasn't much I could do. I fed Harriet some white tea, laced with a drop of cod liver oil, and thankfully, that cleared up her infection nicely.

Harriet is particularly fond of Prissy, our cat. Priscilla's diet includes steamed fish, and that puss is somewhat unladylike in the way she eats it. She likes to pull it off the plate, and Harriet gets to clean up after her. Of course, I do take Harriet out of her bowl sometimes--even cockroaches need exercise. But I always supervise.

She's getting fat. It seems to be a family trait. I think we all like our food just a little too much. But it's not all bad. It keeps her from going all bug-eyed over boys, if you know what I mean. They're all about those svelte cockroaches, and Harriet is holding out for a bug that will see her for her inner beauty.

We had a party for her fourth birthday last year, and man, that was a disaster! I had to sweep and mop all the floors to make sure there was none of that diatomaceous earth left anywhere, and then, as if that wasn't enough, the gang showed up and they didn't want to leave. My place is small--I don't have room for a hundred and ten cockroaches, or more. (I never did manage a head count.)

But I have to tell you, cockroaches sure know how to have fun. Harriet's friends and family were jitter-bugging all over the place. Her uncle owns a cockroach band, and naturally he offered to play for free when he heard about all the food we'd be serving. It's just too bad they have so many bad habits. A lot of them were carrying out doggie bags when the party was over, and some of them were pretty stubborn about leaving; tried to hide in my cupboards. Talk about rude! Those cockroaches had bad manners. It's hard to believe Harriet came from that family.

I mean, I wasn't about to commit murder, and they knew it. They took advantage. So it was a case of sprinkling food all the way out the door, and there was too much of it for Harriet to manage all by herself when they finally left--I had to clean that mess up too. I doubt we'll be throwing a party for her next year, which is really a shame because I think Harriet sometimes gets a little lonely for her own kind, you know? And Prissy is a different cat since that party--a little stand-offish.

Anyway, that's about it. Just remember, a cockroach isn't nearly as bad as everybody thinks. They are actually very polite, usually, and if you treat them with kindness, they'll work for free. Mind you, you will have to wash the dishes afterwards anyway, but hey, it beats wasting food.


Amazing pet!!!
Contest Winner


704 words

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