I sit in my old, beloved chair by the window and I notice it is in tatters from being used nigh on forty years. The view through the tall wood framed window is still the same, and I suspect it will continue to be that way for many years to come.

Only the changing seasons alter the picture I see. Right now the trees are turning green and some forlorn flowers are opening their fragile petals which means that spring has arrived. Not many flowers to be sure, but they are there. This is what is left since you've gone ... yet to me it all feels the same.

I turn my eyes further down the driveway and in the distance, I make out the shape of the letterbox. It sits high on its pole watching for the postman who makes his rounds at the same time every day. He's not there yet, so I let my eyes wander up the way and with a start I notice the birds who are busy building nests in the trees framed by the bluest of skies. They twitter away without a care in the world and I sigh. I feel an irrational envy and the tears that fill my eyes run freely down my weather-beaten cheeks leaving the lovely scene in a blur.

Every day since you passed, I sit in my old chair and wait for the letter from you, the letter I know will never arrive. I am old and I am tired, but then, I close my eyes and the world turns back its clock and all I see is you and I remember.

The green dress swept around your lithe body, as you ran towards me, a bright smile on your face. Your twinkling eyes mesmerised me leaving me out of breath and I think I fell in love with you at that very moment. Your laughter, so enticing, begged me to follow and how could I not? I've followed you and I've loved you ever since.

We married, and made the promise before God that we would love and cherish each other. We were lucky and soon we were blessed with our first child. She was beautiful, but when we loved her most, disaster struck. Three weeks and she was gone. Our little baby perished. How could that be?

You turned to me and I remember your anguished voice.

"Why, please tell me why?" And I had no answer. All I could do was to hold you to transfer some of my strength, but I don't think I succeeded much.

After that, three more arrived. Two boys and another little girl. They were strong and they gave us an abundance of joy. We never forgot our little baby girl though. She stayed with us, buried somewhere deep within.

We experienced more adversity and always you stood by my side. There came the time when my business folded and we went bankrupt. Everything lost, house gone and we had to start all over again, but you, you were always there. It was hard, for you and the children and for me as well, but what I will never know is if you resented me. You never let on.

And so, we built up our life again and this time it turned out okay. Our children grew up and eventually left, leaving you and me behind, and our life returned almost to what it had once been. Until the final disaster descended.

The illness, the fatal disease presented itself, but in a gradual manner. I don't know and I never will, but maybe you kept it away from me. What I do know is that I never realised how ill you were until it was too late.

You were in the hospital and you lay listless in the bed watching me with a weary look. I took hold of your hand and brought it up to my tear stained face and between sobs I murmured, "I will always love you, remember my Darling, I will always love you." And then ... then you were gone.

So here I am in my old, familiar chair and look at the mailbox attached to its pole. I wait for the postman to pass by and I hope against hope that he will deliver that letter of yours.

I am waiting.