Humor Poetry posted March 2, 2016

This work has reached the exceptional level
in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday

The Flock

by Mark Valentine

There once was an island out in the Pacific,
Where lived many birds who were mostly terrific.
And the mostly terrifickest bird of them all
Was a Trumpeter bird who was handsome and tall.
His bright orange plumage – a sight to behold.
The twigs in his nest were all covered with gold.
His nest was the best among all the bird houses.
His wife the best looking of all the bird spouses.
His feathers the finest, his chirps were the loudest,
Of all of the birds, he was surely the proudest.
“I’m quite a great bird, that much should be plain.
I’ve quite the bird body, I’ve quite the bird brain.
It’s easy to tell that I’m clearly the best,
Just look at the wonderful stuff in my nest.
And cuz I’m so great and so rich and so large,
I think that’s it’s time that you put me in charge.
The bird in charge now is so bad and so terrible,
To let him continue is almost unbearable.
I’ve got proof he committed a horrible crime,
I’d show it to you, but it’s not the right time.”
He told all the birds that he had a great plan
To make all the bad things be good once again.
And each time he’d stand up and wax pedagogic,
The birds were amazed at the strength of his logic.
He explained in loud terms so they’d all understand,
How things were so epically bad in their land,
And how, if they voted for him (as they should),
He would make everything become once again good.
And each time he spoke he would gather a crowd,
For birds loved to hear someone speaking so loud.
“Hey Merle, he says that he’ll build a big fence
To keep undesirables out – that makes sense.
And he’ll kill all the bad birds, but won’t start a war
Why didn’t anyone do that before?
He says that our island tends always to lose,
But winning’s the thing this new bird likes to choose.
He likes who we like, and he hates who we hate.
Merle, I tell you this Trumpeter’s great.”
And that’s how it went whenever he’d speak
And birds heard the loudness come out of his beak.
Till one day, a hummingbird had the audacity
To suggest that a statement he made lacked veracity.
With outrage he railed against his accuser.
He called her a fat, stupid, bad-looking, loser
”Of course it is true – I just said that it was!
And things that I say must be true…well… because!
And even if not true, I still should get credit,
Did you notice that all the birds cheered when I said it?
I’m the best bird. I’ve got the best wings.
My name is on bird baths and feeders and things”
Aghast at the hummingbird’s brazen offense,
The flock quickly rallied to Trumpy’s defense.
The Great Bird then turned and he wiggled his rump at her,
Causing the crowd to go wild for the Trumpeter.
Then a voice said, “It’s time, let the voting commence!”
They elected him king, and he put up his fence.
If what happened next has you in some suspense
Just notice this poem’s written in the past tense.
There once WAS an island out in the Pacific…


Poem of the Month contest entry


Even before I joined fanstory, I used to write a poem in honor of Dr. Seuss every year on his birthday (March 2nd). This one was inspired by one of my favorites- Yertl the Turtle.

Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is absolutely intentional.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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