Humor Poetry posted July 16, 2015

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I am not machine-compatible.

Machines and I

by Rubylou

I won! Contest Winner 

Machines and I don't get along
It's always been the case
One glance upon my countertop
You'll see avoided space.

Can openers are simple things
Just press and 'round it goes
Until the blade ejects the can
And sauce spews on my clothes.

My ironing board stands all alone
Iron spat and drizzled
Began to press and water leaked
Steam poofed out then fizzled.

Don't ask me about my vacuum
The sucker lost its beat
A black cloud of dust encircled
Its task left incomplete.

The dimmer switch brightens a room
Light's flicker showed some pest
What are those specks dancing around?
GADZOOKS! A hornet's nest!

My freezer made some great iced cubes
One day the lever drooped
The ice became a solid block
Let's face it, I've been duped.

It's finally time to post this write
End preview button pressed
Computer tasks are not my strength
Please work, is my request.

Machines and I don't get along
I hope things get better
The air condition over frosts
Now I need a sweater!


I won!
Contest Winner


Thank-you, wrekless for the use of 'Implements of Cookstruction.'
These are all true examples including the hornet's nest in the light fixture. (though a touch of exaggeration used)
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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