I have a brand new husband,
My real one does not know,
I cut him out of cardboard,
And have him now for show.

My husband left me months ago,
Has gone now interstate,
His work they came a begging,
And took away my mate.

I've seen him only rarely,
It's been 6 months or more,
So when his work is finished,
I'll greet him that's for sure.

But meanwhile I've been lonely,
And it started out a joke,
Yet now my cardboard cut out man,
Is really a good bloke.

I took him to a party,
I dressed him in a suit,
My friends thought that was funny,
But told me he was cute.

He sat up at the table,
Took his place amongst us all,
And never ate or drank too much
We danced and had a ball.

I sat him in the front seat,
To chat while driving on,
He never made a comment,
Or told me I was wrong.

At home he does not make a mess,
Or belch or let off wind,
His clothes they never need a wash,
My real one may rescind.

I go out now and spend up big,
I know he'll never cry,
Instead he sits there quietly
While I go out to buy.

My kids they said to me "dear Mum
What have you done to Dad",
But they can see the funny side,
Just think that I've gone mad.

So if my husband stays away,
And never to return,
When I get sick of cut out man,
On the fire he will burn.

Then I will make another one,
Create a different style,
No permanent arrangement now,
Just keep him for a while.

So to you ladies all out there,
Still single or forlorn,
Just make a cardboard cut out,
A new man now reborn

Christine. 18/5/15