| Commentary and Philosophy Non-Fiction posted February 7, 2015 | Chapters: |
Prologue -1- 4... 
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Debut Column
A chapter in the book The Tres Amigas
Tres Amigas--February 8, 2015
by Spiritual Echo
| Background The views of three diverse women living in the US, Mexico and Canada will be shared in response to weekly questions sent in by readers in an on-going advice column. |
A weekly advice column written by three women from different countries, lifestyles and points of view.
Dear Amigas;
My brother-in-law (married to my wife's sister) is a good guy, but he is a total wimp when he's around his wife. It's like he doesn't have an opinion of his own when she's in the room. He's not allowed to go anywhere alone, not even to a ballgame with me, and has to ask permission to go the bathroom--or so it seems.
My mother-in-law is passive-aggressive and whenever we are at their house, she makes a big deal out of telling everybody what to do, then breaks into tears if anybody challenges her authority. My father-in-law just shrugs and says nothing.
My wife tried that crap on me when we were first married, but we worked it out and we're fine, but I can't stand going to family get-togethers. It makes me sick. My wife says they're family and insists we go through this torture a few times a year. What's wrong with these women--this family? Pete.
THE LIBRARIAN REPLIES:
While it may be uncomfortable to live through these visits, it might serve you better to keep a low profile and endure the time without sitting in judgement. It sounds like you have appointed yourself judge and jury and that won't sit well with your wife. These people are her family and by taking on a superior tone you may be hurting your own marriage. Hang out with your father-in-law. It seems he has a handle on the situation.
THE HOOKER REPLIES:
Sorry, but in-laws come with the territory. If you only have to deal with it a few times a year, just suck it up and do what The Librarian suggests, hang out with your father-in-law. Face it, nothing you say will change them and if your wife wants to spend time with her family, you need to be supportive. If the relationship is working for them, you need to stay out of it. A lot of marriage negotiations happen between the sheets and you are not privy to the satisfaction these couples derive from their relationship. My suggestion is to MYOB.
THE CYNIC REPLIES:
So they're 'idjuts' and you married into the circus. What do you want me to tell you about them--or you? Presumably you love your wife. Pay attention to your own backyard instead of complaining about the weeds in the vacant lot down the street.
Dear Amigas;
I am madly in love with Bob and everything about our relationship is perfect. He's kind, considerate and hard working, but he's cheap. His idea of a date is a ride in the car and a stop for coffee. He's got three kids from a previous marriage and he says he has no money to waste. It makes me feel like I'm not worth a decent date, a dinner out or just going to the movies together. Another thing, he won't let me meet his kids. He doesn't want to complicate their lives, but I am part of Bob's life. Why won't he introduce them to me and how can I get him interested in wooing me the way a girl deserves? We've been dating for a year. Pam
THE HOOKER REPLIES:
Perfect huh? It sounds like Bob is getting all the dessert without being asked to peel the vegetables. This guy is playing you, using you for sex, but his investment is with his old family not you. If he was so considerate, he'd find a way to take you on a date. Going out doesn't have to cost a fortune. Tell him to save the gas and take you on a picnic and try not sleeping with him to see how committed he is to your relationship.
THE LIBRARIAN REPLIES:
You should admire Bob for his commitment to his children. With so many dead-beat fathers these days, it's refreshing to meet a man who takes his obligations seriously. Those are likely the same qualities you came to love. Suggest some neutral ground where you can meet the children without making a big deal about the introduction or your relationship. Perhaps once you get to meet the kids, you'll have a better appreciation for his limited cash flow. If he is as kind as you seem to indicate, it might be worth the time. Kids grow up. A good man can become a lifetime companion.
THE CYNIC REPLIES:
One year? Maybe he doesn't have any kids at all, or maybe he does and is still married to their mother. How much do you really know about this guy? If he won't take you out in public, he's probably hiding something. Find out what it is.
Dear Amigas;
I'm only fourteen and I have no other adults to ask my questions. My parents hate me. They call me names; tell me I'm stupid and lazy. I can't do anything right. I'm not doing well at school either. My friends say they don't want to be around me anymore. They say I'm a real downer. I don't know what to do. I feel like such a loser. Jenny
THE HOOKER REPLIES:
Jenny, has something happened to you that you haven't told anybody about? Good for you that you reached out, but you need someone closer, someone you can talk with truthfully. If you really can't talk to your parents, talk to a teacher or guidance counsellor and tell them how you're feeling and any secrets you may be hiding. Life will get brighter, but you need to find someone to help you get through these dark feelings.
THE LIBRARIAN REPLIES:
Puberty can be a tough time for young people to go through. All those hormones raging inside you sometimes overwhelm kids. I'd suggest you get an appointment and get a full physical. Tell your family doctor what you're feeling. You may need help at school and someone to talk with about your problems. Your doctor can help you get the help you need.
THE CYNIC REPLIES:
Sometimes life sucks. Hard times do not build character, getting over them does. But no one can make it alone. You need someone to talk to and if your friends have abandoned you, then you need to get counselling. If you can, talk to your mother and tell her you'd like to get some help. If not, you have no other choice than to go to a doctor, a minister or a school counsellor. But you need to be brave enough and strong enough to look after yourself. By the way, the people who abandoned you are not friends, but I have no doubt you'll find new and better buddies when you start feeling better.
Dear Amigas;
My brother-in-law (married to my wife's sister) is a good guy, but he is a total wimp when he's around his wife. It's like he doesn't have an opinion of his own when she's in the room. He's not allowed to go anywhere alone, not even to a ballgame with me, and has to ask permission to go the bathroom--or so it seems.
My mother-in-law is passive-aggressive and whenever we are at their house, she makes a big deal out of telling everybody what to do, then breaks into tears if anybody challenges her authority. My father-in-law just shrugs and says nothing.
My wife tried that crap on me when we were first married, but we worked it out and we're fine, but I can't stand going to family get-togethers. It makes me sick. My wife says they're family and insists we go through this torture a few times a year. What's wrong with these women--this family? Pete.
THE LIBRARIAN REPLIES:
While it may be uncomfortable to live through these visits, it might serve you better to keep a low profile and endure the time without sitting in judgement. It sounds like you have appointed yourself judge and jury and that won't sit well with your wife. These people are her family and by taking on a superior tone you may be hurting your own marriage. Hang out with your father-in-law. It seems he has a handle on the situation.
THE HOOKER REPLIES:
Sorry, but in-laws come with the territory. If you only have to deal with it a few times a year, just suck it up and do what The Librarian suggests, hang out with your father-in-law. Face it, nothing you say will change them and if your wife wants to spend time with her family, you need to be supportive. If the relationship is working for them, you need to stay out of it. A lot of marriage negotiations happen between the sheets and you are not privy to the satisfaction these couples derive from their relationship. My suggestion is to MYOB.
THE CYNIC REPLIES:
So they're 'idjuts' and you married into the circus. What do you want me to tell you about them--or you? Presumably you love your wife. Pay attention to your own backyard instead of complaining about the weeds in the vacant lot down the street.
Dear Amigas;
I am madly in love with Bob and everything about our relationship is perfect. He's kind, considerate and hard working, but he's cheap. His idea of a date is a ride in the car and a stop for coffee. He's got three kids from a previous marriage and he says he has no money to waste. It makes me feel like I'm not worth a decent date, a dinner out or just going to the movies together. Another thing, he won't let me meet his kids. He doesn't want to complicate their lives, but I am part of Bob's life. Why won't he introduce them to me and how can I get him interested in wooing me the way a girl deserves? We've been dating for a year. Pam
THE HOOKER REPLIES:
Perfect huh? It sounds like Bob is getting all the dessert without being asked to peel the vegetables. This guy is playing you, using you for sex, but his investment is with his old family not you. If he was so considerate, he'd find a way to take you on a date. Going out doesn't have to cost a fortune. Tell him to save the gas and take you on a picnic and try not sleeping with him to see how committed he is to your relationship.
THE LIBRARIAN REPLIES:
You should admire Bob for his commitment to his children. With so many dead-beat fathers these days, it's refreshing to meet a man who takes his obligations seriously. Those are likely the same qualities you came to love. Suggest some neutral ground where you can meet the children without making a big deal about the introduction or your relationship. Perhaps once you get to meet the kids, you'll have a better appreciation for his limited cash flow. If he is as kind as you seem to indicate, it might be worth the time. Kids grow up. A good man can become a lifetime companion.
THE CYNIC REPLIES:
One year? Maybe he doesn't have any kids at all, or maybe he does and is still married to their mother. How much do you really know about this guy? If he won't take you out in public, he's probably hiding something. Find out what it is.
Dear Amigas;
I'm only fourteen and I have no other adults to ask my questions. My parents hate me. They call me names; tell me I'm stupid and lazy. I can't do anything right. I'm not doing well at school either. My friends say they don't want to be around me anymore. They say I'm a real downer. I don't know what to do. I feel like such a loser. Jenny
THE HOOKER REPLIES:
Jenny, has something happened to you that you haven't told anybody about? Good for you that you reached out, but you need someone closer, someone you can talk with truthfully. If you really can't talk to your parents, talk to a teacher or guidance counsellor and tell them how you're feeling and any secrets you may be hiding. Life will get brighter, but you need to find someone to help you get through these dark feelings.
THE LIBRARIAN REPLIES:
Puberty can be a tough time for young people to go through. All those hormones raging inside you sometimes overwhelm kids. I'd suggest you get an appointment and get a full physical. Tell your family doctor what you're feeling. You may need help at school and someone to talk with about your problems. Your doctor can help you get the help you need.
THE CYNIC REPLIES:
Sometimes life sucks. Hard times do not build character, getting over them does. But no one can make it alone. You need someone to talk to and if your friends have abandoned you, then you need to get counselling. If you can, talk to your mother and tell her you'd like to get some help. If not, you have no other choice than to go to a doctor, a minister or a school counsellor. But you need to be brave enough and strong enough to look after yourself. By the way, the people who abandoned you are not friends, but I have no doubt you'll find new and better buddies when you start feeling better.
 Recognized |
FS members will be privy to know the identity of two of the authors, Spiritual Echo--THE CYNIC--and Smurphgirlsasha--THE HOOKER. The identity of THE LIBRARIAN will remain hidden.
This dry run on FS is a serious project the three women are testing with their esteemed fellow members, but the intention is to submit the idea to National Newspapers in Canada, Mexico and The United States.
Your feedback on the literary aspects is always welcome as we fine-tune our presentation for public submission.
However, as this is a serious column, we will answer questions that are sent by PM to either Spiritual Echo or Smurphgirlsasha and include them in our weekly column each Sunday. All identities will be protected by creating a pseudonym for each letter. Letters may be edited for length.
Both prologue and debut column are posted Sunday, February 8, 2015 and will continue weekly.
All columns/chapters can be found in Spiritual Echo's portfolio.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. This dry run on FS is a serious project the three women are testing with their esteemed fellow members, but the intention is to submit the idea to National Newspapers in Canada, Mexico and The United States.
Your feedback on the literary aspects is always welcome as we fine-tune our presentation for public submission.
However, as this is a serious column, we will answer questions that are sent by PM to either Spiritual Echo or Smurphgirlsasha and include them in our weekly column each Sunday. All identities will be protected by creating a pseudonym for each letter. Letters may be edited for length.
Both prologue and debut column are posted Sunday, February 8, 2015 and will continue weekly.
All columns/chapters can be found in Spiritual Echo's portfolio.
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