Yep, that's right, I'm polishing up the CV and thinking about purchasing a new suit, ready for my elevation to the position of Secretary of State.

Now I wouldn't normally consider myself to have the qualifications to tackle such a prestigious job, but then last night I saw the incumbent, John Kerry, on our evening news. I was immediately reassured that no matter what my abilities are, I couldn't possibly be any worse than this nincompoop.

Here is what Mr Kerry had to say (I've paraphrased it a little because I'm just recalling it from memory):
"We are working closely with our friends, the Israelis, to solve the problem of how to reduce civilian casualties."

Well, Mr Kerry, while you're busy cleaning out your office perhaps you'd like to know the answer to your BIG problem:
Stop bloody shooting them!