Humor Script posted January 26, 2014 Chapters:  ...11 12 -13- 14... 

This work has reached the exceptional level
Memories surface.

A chapter in the book Tea with Tattoo Tony

Reality Strikes

by Spitfire


PATRICIA: No, I see people for what they are. Greedy. Trying to get something for nothing.
                  You said that Dad promised investors they’d triple their money. Maybe, he
                  actually felt he could help them.

FILLY: Now who’s being naïve!

PATRICIA: You’re just bitter because Dad handed me your fiancé on a silver platter.

FILLY: If that’s true, why would I bother to save his reputation?


TONY: (offstage) You two teases comin’ up or not. I’m naked and waitin’.                       

PATRICIA: (directed toward Tony) Deal's off, you thug. Take a cold shower.

                                   (Doorbell chimes. ERMA dashes in, does a double take
at the empty room.)

ERMA: Oh no! Don’t tell me you gave everything to Grant Howard?

FILLY: All right. I won’t tell you.

PATRICIA: (to FILLY)  Does your hired help make it a habit of barging in and asking personal 

FILLY: Erma’s not my housemaid. She’s a neighbor –

ERMA: Her best friend.

PATRICIA: Oh please. (to FILLY) You let this commoner into your home?  And then Tony?
                  What happened to your Worthington pride?  Oh, I forgot. Dad ruined our name
                  with his white collar crime. Really, Felicitia, you should applaud him for getting
                  away with it.  Now your charitable actions will  expose him.

                                      (Sounds of a door shutting, followed by a full-blast shower.
                                      The sisters look in the direction of the sound,
turn to face
                                      each other, do a quick rock-paper-scissors
game. FILLY
                                      loses, flounces toward bathroom,
exits, bangs on a door. )

FILLY:(offstage, imitation of her father) You don’t need all that water. Conserve our 
           natural resources, child!

                                        (PATRICIA mimes her sister’s action and words,
A comical memory of their past.)

PATRICIA: (to ERMA) She never could win that game.

                                        (The shower slows down. FILLY returns. PATRICIA 
hapes   the letter L with her fingers and puts it over
er head.)

PATRICIA:(chanting) Loser, loser.

ERMA: Stop fighting, children!

                                         (PATRICIA and FILLY glare at each other, then at 
                                         ERMA'S fierce face. A beat. They giggle, then break
                                         into l
aughter. ERMA remains, dead serious.)

PATRICIA: Oh Felicity, We did have some good times. Why can’t you see things my way?
                   Dad had good intentions. He meant for us to ride in limousines, wear tons
                   of diamonds and bathe in champagne.

FILLY: With money scammed from the middle class.

PATRICIAL: The greedy and gullible.

ERMA: Can I ask something?

                                           (The shower has stopped. PATRICIA looks at her watch.)

PATRICIA: Seven and a half minutes! Mother would have a fit.

FILLY:  She was good at that. 

                                          ( Both sisters mimic their mother stomping
                                           and clenching her fists. ERMA grabs FILLY
                                           by the arm. Both women stop their antics.)

ERMA: Please, Felicity, this is important. How did you find out about your father’s scheme?

PATRICIA: Stay out of this, whatever your name is. Leave. You’re not wanted.

ERMA: But I have found—

FILLY: He left a letter addressed to me. A letter to be opened upon his death.

PATRICIA: What! Why? I was his favorite.

FILLY: Yes, he gave you the only man I ever loved.

PATRICIA: Oh for Pete’s sake. Dad did you a favor. Lionel’s a complete dud in bed.

ERMA:(frantic) The letter! The letter! What did it say?

FILLY: (to PATRICIA) If Lionel’s a dud, it’s because you don’t turn him on. I did.

PATRICIA: (stunned) You had sex with him?

FILLY: I confess. Dad caught us. He accused Lionel of rape since I was a minor at the time.

PATRICIA: (covering her ears) I don’t believe this.

FILLY: Lionel was given a choice—jail time or marriage to you.

PATRICIA: I hate you! Now, I know why you’re making up these lies.

FILLY: I’ll show you the letter Dad wrote when the doctor said he had four months
            to live.  Remember?  You refused to believe the diagnosis just like you refuse 
            to believe Dad was a thief. You’re just like Mother. By the way, he killed her,
            you know.

To be continued.


Rock-paper-scissors is a hand game usually played by two people, where players simultaneously form one of three shapes with an outstretched hand. The "rock" beats scissors, the "scissors" beat paper and the "paper" beats rock; if both players throw the same shape, the game is tied.
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