Humor Poetry posted October 11, 2013

This work has reached the exceptional level
When appliances break

The Machine Stops

by kiwisteveh

When your appliances break Contest Winner 
The fridge is far from frosty
and the toaster's on the fritz;
the mower's scattered round the yard
in countless shattered bits.

The kettle gives a deathly wail
then, whimpering, expires;
the stereo's demented
Like a dozen off-key choirs.

The washer's bumpy-thumping
like it wants to leave the room;
the heater's grown quite chilly
and the oven's met its doom.

The waste disposal ate four forks
then graunched before exploding;
there's a message on the microwave
that fills me with foreboding.

The telly's just gone belly-up
smack in the evening news;
the DVD needs TLC;
computer's blown a fuse.

My Bluetooth needs a dentist
and my Wi-Fi's disconnected;
my razor flicked its flexy tail
then died; how unexpected!

My iPad tells me I don't know
the year that I was born;
my smart phone's lost its smarts it seems;
my Kindle's reading porn.

My GPS has lost its way
and beggared off to Burma;
my Whipper-Snipper slipped and dipped,
then ate some terra firma

I'd like to post this poem on-line
so all the world can read it,
but the Internet's gone Poof! Kaput!
just when I really need it!

When your appliances break
Contest Winner


The title refers to a wonderful science fiction story by E. M. Forster - it should be compulsory reading for anyone who feels we are getting just a little too dependent on our technology. It's available on-line at:

Ok I may have stretched the definition of appliances just a teensy bit - so sue me!
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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