Self Improvement Non-Fiction posted April 29, 2013

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One More Step Up the Ladder

Looking for Yes

by angelmagnet

Looking for Yes

Considering my options, I realized someone was missing. Missing was someone I immediately defined as the one who would be there to listen, guide and reinforce any decision I make. When I stopped to consider how to get what I missed, my dreamer's brain imagined just one special someone to help me explore my options.

While I was feeling a little isolated and blaming that isolation for my inability to achieve my desire - a friend even more special than the ones I have - I thought of My Rabbi's suggestion that we frame our prayers in a way that will promote "yes" as an answer. In the middle of my pity-party, I realized that if I removed any restrictions that I had about how my prayer should be answered (my requirements were that just one special person would be there for me), I woke to realize that I have, if not one; I have forty special members of my community that would be more than happy to help me make a decision.

The same evening, I went to class, and was blocked from exiting the room where the class had been given. Two of my friends literally blocked my egress, not accepting a shrug of my shoulders for the answer to the question, "How Are You?". It happened that one of the women had medical contacts in New York and was happy to make phone calls. Another woman was on my side, supporting and listening to potential plans for discovery.

I was appeased. My question, my prayer had been answered in the positive. I just had to know exactly what I was asking and how to ask. For instance, I no longer go to sleep at night asking for legs that will carry me on my journey. At some point, that was my only prayer. The years have taught me that prayer is answered
with "not yet". Now, I go to bed with the intention of using the abilities I still have in the best way possible.

Please, Hashem, show me how to be most effective, doing all that I can do. Allow my words to reach those who need to read them, and those who just enjoy (even as much as I enjoy the writing, itself). I take one step for myself with the intention that my world will move forward with that step.

In the meantime, I've been in contact with my first teacher, Linda Noble Topf. She has been taking a drug for four years. She believes that drug is helping her maintain and increase her abilities. We have been friends
almost since the beginning of my trip with multiple sclerosis. This was someone special who would help me explore my options.

I think I'll call my doctor today.

When the question is right, the answer is more likely to be yes.


Hashem is the Hebrew name for the Almighty. It literally means "the name". The name refers to the one who calls himself "I Am That I Am"
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