Virulent Chimera

by Dopeless Hopefiend

Background
After the fight, the break up, Ann called (Eunoia in Dystopia) at first to bash me, then suggests we should go get help. Impassive through the conversion, I do not respond, and instead, get high.

It has been ten or twelve hours since Ann called, I had consumed a cocktail of opiates, anti-depressants, and peyote, specifically to spite her suggestion. In the ensuing inebriation, I had believed I had seen my addiction take the form of a dark, shadowed figure. Waving money and drugs at me mockingly, it spoke to me, encouraging me to indulge further, and maybe more.

"Am I real? Or are you dreaming?
Through this dark, am I the light you see?
Despite if it's real, you're no more a being...
For I am the devil you have learned to be.

Revel in the chaos, go on, dancing with your demons.
You can plead and cry for help, but it is only you who sees them.
This evil pays in gold, but the collecting done with blood.
Your soul willingly sold, you're best to comfort in the numb.

Revel won't you? Revel!
You are not enjoying this enough.
You cannot press rewind on father time,
You can't stop death's crawl upon the love.

Revel, fool, now revel!
Believe that smile on your face!
Enjoy the fruits of life's adulteration,
For I assure you it loses taste.

Chaotic is it? Revel! While you still feel the pain!
For a time will come,
When you're but none.
Just a face in a picture frame.

So take advantage of newborn freedom,
Dip your tongue into bliss's brook.
Even Adam capitulates to Eden.
Past the cover, you may enjoy the book.

Today you are nothing but a name,
Ah! But isn't it so sweet?
No one to force any blame,
On what you say makes you complete?

I speak to you, but speak for thine,
I speak on behalf of your innermost devil.
If tomorrow comes, and you do not wake up,
She would revel, we'd watch Ann revel.

Life is just another dream,
On this rose you're but a dying petal.
As malevolent as this all may seem,
I'm just the whistle of your burning kettle.

Through breaking skin with metal,
Plunges bliss, your stomach settles.
My hands to wheel, your foot to pedal,
Burning up your arm, go ahead and revel."

My phone rang. Startled, I awoke, glancing at the screen praying to see Ann's name. It was not her, but instead my supplier. Amidst the internal battle taking place, his timing was impeccable. I answered.

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Obviously, I would go on to purchase that day, to further my already out-of-control binge. A human's body can only take so much before it gives out, and that's exactly what it did. It is called 'Falling out' among the opiate addicts, and it happens more often than you're lead to believe. Terribly, it is an accepted risk. Essentially it is an overdose, but a good percentage of the time the addict's tolerance is so high, the body processes the drug and hours later they awake. When the addicts tolerance is too low, the respiratory system fails and they do not wake up. Find out what happens next, in CH. 6.

(This is a semi-biographical non-fiction work. It is the past, so please do not review or comment as if this is happening to me, specifically, right now. Review it as if it is a character narrating. For my returning readers, this is not for you, as I am sure you know.)

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My disease appears as an apparition during a bender.

A chapter in the book The Weight We Measure

Virulent Chimera

by Dopeless Hopefiend

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