General Poetry posted September 30, 2012 Chapters: Prologue -1- 2... 


Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Fearful of my future, personifying the disease in my mind.
A chapter in the book The Weight We Measure

Calm Before The Storm

by Dopeless Hopefiend



Background
This is a chronologically ordered collection of poems that give you the front row seat to the insane, dementia of an opiate addicts thought process and how he's affected when different problems arise.
I'm on the brink, it's closing in, it's everywhere I look.
Outside my shade shut window, in every line of this book.
Everything's the same, on every screen, every thought, every dream,
Hear your name, want to scream, this was never what it seemed.

She whispers soft, her hand is gentle, as it consumes all that I love.
She recreates me, as just a stencil, a bare minimum of what I was.
She sells me bridges when there is no river, I'm investing everyday.
When the day comes that I cross them, she assures I'll be repaid.

I can't see through her lies, but I can feel the change within - -
Like a million parasites burrowing underneath my skin.
I beg to be but spared, then I beg for her to take me.
Then I blame various conditions for decisions I am making.

I tried once, I tried twice, now I'm pressed for patience.
You broke me down, congratulations, here is your ovation.
I once was doing oh so well, and you remind me everyday
Of the day that I had been so weak to give it all away.

I'm tired, God, I'm oh so tired, when is enough- - enough?
When will this war inside me end? When do I become the love?
Sometimes she kicks me when I'm down, sometimes she tells me "Never."
Sometimes she reads these lines with a frown, and lets me think I'm clever.

Sometimes I ask how long she'll stay, because somedays I feel better
Those days she looks away to say, she reckons this is forever.
One day I'll change I swear it's true, I have watched myself decay.
One day I'll stop, stop it all, but that day is not today.

I may hold my secrets, I may spell out my lies,
But I know one day I will have to admit; I'm dying.
I can tell I am at the crossroad where my two worlds collide,
and well, the best thing for me to do - - is to keep lying.

It scares me that I'm not scared.



Recognized


Chapter one gives you a more literal peak into a mind in the fragile state of early addiction.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.


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