It's Saturday, it's matinee, popcorn's pop, pop, popping.
Barroom brawling, cattle bawling, ponies clop,clop, clopping.
Pi-ano plinking, glasses clinking"our villain snorts and snickers,
while at the rail his old shave-tail, whinnies, neighs, and nickers.

Our hero's spurs a-jingle, he thunders through the door.
The audience a-tingle, let's out a ripping roar.
The bad guy hisses, blasts, but misses. It's over but for screamin'.
One bullet crack, one fatal smack, the villian's drooped and dreamin'.

The sheriff sputters, moans and mutters, but issues no alarm.
The kids 'Hooray"you saved the day... now please don't smooch the schoolmarm.'