Humor Flash Fiction posted April 21, 2012

This work has reached the exceptional level
Sunday, Sunday ...

The Church Ladies

by Realist101

"Imogene, dear ... where are my glasses?"

"How would I know, May? I don't wear 'em."

"Well, they've got to be here somewhere. I have to have them. I'm blind as a bat, you know."

"May, come on now, we have to get to church." She tapped the toe of her black patent leather shoe with a slight suffering of impatience. "God doesn't care if you see Him or not. Well, that may be a stretch. You know what I mean. Come on. We'll find them when we get back, okay? Let's go now."

"Gimme just a sec." May Ellen dug noisily in the cavern of the old pocketbook she'd relied on for the last twenty years, wishing she still had the eyesight of her youth. Frustrating didn't begin to describe the situation. She moaned quietly--her spectacles had been absconded by naughty gnomes in the night.

"I'm driving. So really, Sister, you don't need them. Now, come on, May Ellen."

"Damn it, Imogene. Hang on."

"I'm leaving. With, or without you."

"Wait, sister. Just a darned minute. We aren't late."

"May. I mean it. And I will not speed. I will not be pulled over by Barney Fife."

"Ain't askin' ya to. Just need my glasses."

"Oh, God. Let's just stay home then. I won't walk in late either. I quite simply refuse to go if we have to be late."

"I just had them last night. Help me look around, why don't'cha?"

"One pass then ... I'll go through the house just once."

"Okay. Thanks, Imogene. Try the laundry room? I folded clothes last night. I'll go check in the kitchen."

The sisters tread throughout the neat home they shared, each engrossed in their own thoughts, and each wishing the other were more careful with the little things. Imogene was the taller of the pair. The elder too. She walked heavy and sure; a leader, she was the boss of the tiny domestic domicile.

Her beloved baby sister, May Ellen, was squat ... not fat, just a square shape that worked relentlessly at keeping things neat and clean. She was a perfectionist. Or tried hard to be. It was just that little things seemed so hard to remember anymore. May Ellen tidied up as she searched, and even hummed a tune. Sundays were so pleasant--she wished they could stay in just once.

"Oh, my God! Imogene! Come quick!"

"Find them?"

"Guess where?"

"Never mind, let's go now. Just thank God you found them. Oh, dear now ... let's see. Where did I put those confounded car keys?"


Dedicated to Miss Cookie, and all of us who forget our heads are attached! This is not funny. Thank you for reading and hopefully enjoying...and to Google for the loan of this cute photo. Let's cherish our older citizens...and our old selves??
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