Commentary and Philosophy Fiction posted February 16, 2012 |
Just some random thoughts in random order.
I Gotta Believe
by humpwhistle
I believe I have friends in high places…oddly, none of them do.
I believe I’ll probably have to bribe Saint Peter.
I believe Newt’s plan for a moon station is lunarcy. (Newt ain’t no JFK)
I believe ‘liberty and justice for all’ are still just goals.
I believe my mirror keeps getting older.
I believe Lady GaGa is a soggy frosted flake.
I believe anything ‘served on a bed of lettuce’ doesn’t go with a shot of Jack and a beer back.
I believe poets are o’erly fond of contractions.
I believe the Star Spangled Banner is an out-dated, tattered anthem that should be replaced.
I believe I will be pilloried for suggesting such a thing.
I believe Washington, D.C. gives recycling a bad name.
I believe George Washington would take one look at his monument and say, “WTF?”
I believe if I ever hear an angelic choir, Mavis Staples will be singing lead.
I believe brownies without nuts are just cake.
And, I believe Cub Scouts without nuts are just Brownies.
I believe I’ve given up believing in politicians.
Just as I believe politicians gave up believing in me a long time ago.
I believe that same-sex marriages are just as liable to end in divorce as the other kind. So what’s the big deal?
I believe Rosie O’Donnell, Roseanne Barr, and George Clooney never had a three-way.
I believe dressing bodies for cremation is pretty silly.
Therefore, I believe I’ll be cremated in my tangerine Nehru Jacket.
I believe that if you want world peace, it’s best to keep a small orbit.
I believe countries should lead by example too.
I believe writing just for rankings is petty impersonation.
I believe reviewing based purely on payout is petty prostitution.
I believe the price of gasoline will burn us all---until we turn it into a buggy whip.
I believe computer dating would appeal to me more if my penis fit a USB port.
I believe HDTV simply clarifies why we call it the boob tube.
I believe the correct spelling is: Fullobluster.
I believe Nabisco should introduce Safe Crackers---in a combination pack, of course.
I believe Kleenex should change its name to God Bless, America.
I believe all the tea in China doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.
Actually, I believe nothing but a hill of beans amounts to a hill of beans.
I believe Starbuck’s baristas have a grande problem with the English language.
I believe Herman Melville should get a grande royalty from every Starbuck’s.
I believe if men wore short skirts, women would giggle all-the-doh-dah-day.
I believe a cold shower is next to Godliness.
I believe the middle finger has other uses.
I believe I have friends in high places…oddly, none of them do.
I believe I’ll probably have to bribe Saint Peter.
I believe Newt’s plan for a moon station is lunarcy. (Newt ain’t no JFK)
I believe ‘liberty and justice for all’ are still just goals.
I believe my mirror keeps getting older.
I believe Lady GaGa is a soggy frosted flake.
I believe anything ‘served on a bed of lettuce’ doesn’t go with a shot of Jack and a beer back.
I believe poets are o’erly fond of contractions.
I believe the Star Spangled Banner is an out-dated, tattered anthem that should be replaced.
I believe I will be pilloried for suggesting such a thing.
I believe Washington, D.C. gives recycling a bad name.
I believe George Washington would take one look at his monument and say, “WTF?”
I believe if I ever hear an angelic choir, Mavis Staples will be singing lead.
I believe brownies without nuts are just cake.
And, I believe Cub Scouts without nuts are just Brownies.
I believe I’ve given up believing in politicians.
Just as I believe politicians gave up believing in me a long time ago.
I believe that same-sex marriages are just as liable to end in divorce as the other kind. So what’s the big deal?
I believe Rosie O’Donnell, Roseanne Barr, and George Clooney never had a three-way.
I believe dressing bodies for cremation is pretty silly.
Therefore, I believe I’ll be cremated in my tangerine Nehru Jacket.
I believe that if you want world peace, it’s best to keep a small orbit.
I believe countries should lead by example too.
I believe writing just for rankings is petty impersonation.
I believe reviewing based purely on payout is petty prostitution.
I believe the price of gasoline will burn us all---until we turn it into a buggy whip.
I believe computer dating would appeal to me more if my penis fit a USB port.
I believe HDTV simply clarifies why we call it the boob tube.
I believe the correct spelling is: Fullobluster.
I believe Nabisco should introduce Safe Crackers---in a combination pack, of course.
I believe Kleenex should change its name to God Bless, America.
I believe all the tea in China doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.
Actually, I believe nothing but a hill of beans amounts to a hill of beans.
I believe Starbuck’s baristas have a grande problem with the English language.
I believe Herman Melville should get a grande royalty from every Starbuck’s.
I believe if men wore short skirts, women would giggle all-the-doh-dah-day.
I believe a cold shower is next to Godliness.
I believe the middle finger has other uses.
Recognized |
Just having some fun with a format I've used before.
Watch---I believe an 'I Believe' prompt will show up right after I post this. I believe I'm screwed. hw
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Watch---I believe an 'I Believe' prompt will show up right after I post this. I believe I'm screwed. hw
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