This stand of aspen trees and hopefully God's mercy, are my shelter on this gray, windy fall day. I lean back on the little tree's sturdy trunk, while I scream inside with fear and torment.

Not so far away, the Teton mountains reach for the lead sky, their peaks, promises of a stairway to Heaven. I wonder what it is all about. Life. I am lost inside my mind, wanting what I can never have. And I cry. My tears, hot and burning down my cheeks, only serve to make me feel weak; it is strength that I need now.

The little mare that carried me these miles away from civilization, grazes just feet away, her munching the only sound, save for the pounding of my heart.

I do not want to go back. I'm already in heaven, beneath this Western sky. They can't hurt me or my beautiful horse; if I can just stay here.

I take her saddle and bridle off, she is of mustang stock and will find the wild herds.

I can never go back. I raise the barrel of my .38 and put it to my temple.