Sample of a review I might have written:

I enjoyed reading your love poem and found the imagery vivid and filled with poetic passion.  You describe a wondrous relationship between the two people in the poem and truly captured the essence of their love.

NOW WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY:

I just finished reading your love poem and I must say you do write like you are in the moment.  In fact, I would say you were writing this while you were enjoying the moment.  After having read at least twenty of your love poems, I am convinced that your Muse is your bedfellow and no other.  This revelation leaves me to wonder whether you can write at all if you don’t copulate.  Don’t get me wrong   - I see nothing wrong in being inspired by sexual activity, but you realize of course you are leaving yourself open to people keeping scores on your private unions.   

Let me end this review by saying, “what happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom,” especially after having heard about it in every darn one of your poems.