| Writing Non-Fiction posted February 9, 2009 |
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An honest opinion of myself
One-Hundred Percent True
by Sasha
Please note: This was supposed to be entered into the Post an Ad in the Personals for a Date contest, but either my entry was too late or, they just didn't like it, and chose to put it in the short story section instead. Every word is true, I swear.
I am a five-foot, 8-inch, 63 year-old female. I have short, dishwater-blonde hair with intermittent bouts of dandruff. I am blind in my right eye, I wear false teeth (uppers and lowers). I am a double mastectomy survivor with off-balance implants (right breast three inches lower than the left). I have the annoying habit of cracking my knuckles when I'm nervous. I proudly brandish three faded tattoos and wear a nose stud. I consider myself a good catch based on the fact that I see myself as a born-again virgin because I have not gone out on a date since 1989. I suffer from a mild mental illness but take my meds regularly, so it shouldn't pose a problem. I have no viable source of income worth mentioning. I am looking for a man in his early to mid 90s, impotent, with a large bank account, no living heirs, and a serious heart condition. If interested, you can contact me via FanStory.com and ask for Smurphgirl
Please note: This was supposed to be entered into the Post an Ad in the Personals for a Date contest, but either my entry was too late or, they just didn't like it, and chose to put it in the short story section instead. Every word is true, I swear.
I am a five-foot, 8-inch, 63 year-old female. I have short, dishwater-blonde hair with intermittent bouts of dandruff. I am blind in my right eye, I wear false teeth (uppers and lowers). I am a double mastectomy survivor with off-balance implants (right breast three inches lower than the left). I have the annoying habit of cracking my knuckles when I'm nervous. I proudly brandish three faded tattoos and wear a nose stud. I consider myself a good catch based on the fact that I see myself as a born-again virgin because I have not gone out on a date since 1989. I suffer from a mild mental illness but take my meds regularly, so it shouldn't pose a problem. I have no viable source of income worth mentioning. I am looking for a man in his early to mid 90s, impotent, with a large bank account, no living heirs, and a serious heart condition. If interested, you can contact me via FanStory.com and ask for Smurphgirl
I am a five-foot, 8-inch, 63 year-old female. I have short, dishwater-blonde hair with intermittent bouts of dandruff. I am blind in my right eye, I wear false teeth (uppers and lowers). I am a double mastectomy survivor with off-balance implants (right breast three inches lower than the left). I have the annoying habit of cracking my knuckles when I'm nervous. I proudly brandish three faded tattoos and wear a nose stud. I consider myself a good catch based on the fact that I see myself as a born-again virgin because I have not gone out on a date since 1989. I suffer from a mild mental illness but take my meds regularly, so it shouldn't pose a problem. I have no viable source of income worth mentioning. I am looking for a man in his early to mid 90s, impotent, with a large bank account, no living heirs, and a serious heart condition. If interested, you can contact me via FanStory.com and ask for Smurphgirl
 Recognized |
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I am proud to say that each and every statement is true.
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