Satire Fiction posted June 29, 2025

Chapters:

...24 25 -26-

Jim Wile

I was a golf course superintendent for a few years, then became a computer programmer and systems analyst where I did a lot of technical writing. I loved that part of the job, but after I retired there wasn't a need for it anymore.

Still - more...

He is a top ranked author and is currently holding the #49 position.

He is an accomplished novelist and is currently at the #5 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished poet and is currently at the #46 spot on the rankings.

He is also an active reviewer and is holding the #42 spot on the top ranked reviewer list.

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A chapter in the book Milton vs the HOA

Milton vs the HOA - Chapter 26

by Jim Wile

Background
A meek accountant moves into the HOA from hell.

Recap of Chapter 25: A winter storm blankets the area, and Milton has the street plowed, but the sidewalk wasn’t finished. As Dorothy drives home from her attorney’s office, she sees Milton walking in the street toward Rosie’s house. She has just received the bad news that the sheriff’s investigation had uncovered her complete embezzlement scheme, and she is in a foul mood. She snaps and, in a fit of anger, decides to run Milton down.

George tells Milton to stay where he is and creates an ice slick on the road, which causes Dorothy’s car to skid out of control and carom down a hill where she crashes into trees. This ignites her car, and she burns to death trapped inside.

Milton is shocked and ruminates on how she has largely contributed to three deaths in the neighborhood since he moved in. George tries to assure him that none of it was his fault. The chapter ends as Milton phones 911 to report the accident.

Chapter 26

Without Dorothy’s support, Penny Smalls lacked the courage to withstand a trial and accepted a plea bargain for the crimes of fraud and embezzlement. She would serve a jail term of three years and was ordered to pay restitution of $200,000 to the HOA. She would have to sell her house to raise that kind of money.

As George had suggested, Milton consulted with the HOA’s attorney to seek restitution from the estate of Dorothy Clodfelter. They brought a civil suit against the estate, and in the end, the estate owed $400,000 to the HOA. Much of this was obtained from the sale of her house at auction.

The four members of the clique who had not paid any dues for at least 10 years could only be assessed for back dues for the past four years due to the statute of limitations. These payments amounted to $13,000 apiece.

All told, the HOA eventually collected just over $650,000. The Board decided to give this money back to those from whom it had been stolen, and Milton determined an equitable way to do this. Most of the residents received restitution of close to $20,000. For all his efforts, Milton was owed less than $1,000 but took nothing.

Milton was able to negotiate a deal with the township to take possession of the private road the neighborhood owned and consequently the maintenance of it. This would afford the township access to a tract of land they’d had their eyes on for many years and would now be able to access with a branch off the Riverwood HOA’s road. This would eliminate the portion of the HOA’s dues for regular road maintenance as well as the special assessments for major road repairs.

Milton also asked the neighbors how many would be interested in getting rid of the swimming pool. Support for that was overwhelming. The average age of the neighbors was in the late 60s, and there were very few families with children. It was primarily a neighborhood of seniors, and most were not interested in maintaining a neighborhood pool.

In the end, the road and pool were gone, and a dues amount of only $100 a month was sufficient for the few remaining budgeted items. This represented a $200-a-month reduction from the previous amount, but the vastly lowered dues also had the long-term effect of creating a marked increase in the sale price of homes in the subdivision.

Milton was the hero of the neighborhood. He was universally loved by all and could expect to have the job of Board member and president of the HOA for as long as he wanted it.

Whenever he and Rosie would go for a walk through the neighborhood, the neighbors they encountered would always want to stop and talk. Milton knew everyone and felt comfortable talking with them.

One evening in early summer of 2026, he was sitting by himself on his porch when George came to him unbidden.

Milton, I think my job is done here.

Are you leaving me now, Geordie?

Not completely. You can still talk to me. I just won’t be answering back. The thing is, you don’t need me anymore, Brother.

I’m going to miss you, Geordie. I don’t think I would be as happy as I am today without your guidance.

I may have helped push you in the right direction, but it’s been all you, Milton. You are a very capable person; it just took you a little while to realize it. One piece of advice before I leave, though: You’ve got to marry Rosie. What are you waiting for? Propose to her.

Well, you’re right. I’ve known her for a whole year now, and I guess it’s time. I love her very much.

And she loves you too. You’ll be very happy together. And who knows? You might even start a family. You’re not too old for that.

I guess you’re right about that too. Any other words of advice before you leave?

Just this, Milton: Have faith in yourself. You’ve got a fine head on your shoulders and a good heart. I wish I would have been as good a person in life as you are and a better brother, but I was fortunate enough to have been given a chance to make amends. I’m hoping for the best now.

Thank you for everything, Geordie. I’ll always think fondly of you now. Best of luck wherever you’re going.

Goodbye, Brother. Maybe I’ll see you again one day.

I was waiting for George when he came again to the gate. “Well, George, it looks to me like you’ve successfully completed your mission. How do you feel about it?”

“I’m eternally grateful that I was given the chance to make—”

“Excuse me, excuse me,” interrupted a tall woman who came striding up to the gate. “I’m not sure I made the correct turn back there. It wasn’t marked at all. How the hell are you supposed to know which way to go?”

“Hello, Dorothy. I’m afraid you turned the wrong way. You must go back to where the road forked and take the other branch. This way is closed to you, but you’ll be welcome if you go the other way. They’ve been waiting for you.”

“Great. Do you know if they have a pool over that way? I do enjoy swimming.”

“Oh, yes. There are plenty of pools, alright. Bye now.”

I turned back to George as she sauntered away. “She may be a tad disappointed to find out they are all lava pools. But getting back to your answer, I believe you were about to confess that you had been an awful brother during your lifetime, but that you were grateful for the chance to make amends by helping your brother become the man he was always meant to be. Is that correct?”

“Exactly so. And now I’m ready for whatever you decide my fate should be.”

“I think you’ve earned your place now, George. Welcome aboard.” With that, I opened the gate and let him in.

As for Milton, he indeed proposed to Rosie, and she accepted. Over the coming years, they had two children together—two girls—and Milton became a doting father.

Chordially Yours had many gigs, and with Rosie in the lead, they were a very popular group.

Milton’s battle with the HOA became a distant memory, and he remained as the beloved president for many years. He was happy to serve and was proud of his neighborhood. Neighbors would often see him strolling the grounds, picking up a piece of litter here, pulling a weed there, and they knew they were in good hands with him at the helm.

What Milton had learned about an HOA was that it was as good as the people living in it and the people running it. Ask Jim Wile, who’s been president of his HOA for nine years and counting. He’ll tell you the same.

The End

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Many thanks to all of you who have followed this story. It has been my great pleasure to share it with you, and I am thrilled with the response to it. I truly appreciate the time you invested reading and reviewing the chapters and providing me with feedback. It's always very helpful to see how things are being perceived and receive your suggestions for improvement.

At this time, I haven't decided what my next novel will be or when I might begin writing it. I've tossed around the idea of another sequel to the "Devil" stories and even wrote a few chapters of it, but I haven't decided yet on whether to continue that.

Once again, thanks to all of you who have been with me during this story. - Jim

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