| Satire Fiction posted June 2, 2025 | Chapters: |
...14 15 -16- 17... 
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Betty signs the petition, and Milton asks Rosie out
A chapter in the book Milton vs the HOA
Milton vs the HOA - Chapter 16
by Jim Wile
| Background A meek accountant moves into the HOA from hell. |
Recap of Chapter 15: Lounging by the “community” pool, Dorothy and Penny discuss what Milton and Esme are doing, since they were observed visiting the homes of many neighbors together. They begin to worry, as Milton now has a copy of the CCRs and is beginning to threaten their iron-fisted rule and the cozy arrangement the two of them have with the HOA’s funds. Together, they decide they had better oust Betty as the treasurer before she reveals something she shouldn’t.
Rosie has a talk with Betty and finds out she never called Dorothy to resign as treasurer two weeks earlier. They make the call now, and Rosie explains that Betty will be moving to assisted living in a few months and must resign now. Dorothy is glad she doesn’t have to force Betty out and later goes to Betty’s house to retrieve the financial records she has.
Chapter 16
“Rosie, this is Milton. I’m calling to see how Betty is doing since she resigned from the Board. How is she taking it?”
“Hello, Milton. It’s nice to hear from you again. She won’t admit it, but I think it’s a relief to her. I think she was always a little fearful of making mistakes.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Esme and I have been meeting with the homeowners over the last two weeks, and we already have more than enough signatures on the petition to call a meeting. Should we ask your Gram to sign it, or do you think it would upset her to find out about the corruption that’s been going on beneath her nose?”
“I think she should know about it, whether she signs or not, just so that she isn’t blindsided at the meeting, which we will attend.”
“Would this evening be convenient for you both to talk to Esme and me? Perhaps at 7:30?”
“Yes, that would be fine. I’ll see you then, Milton.”
Milton collected Esme, and together they walked down the street to Betty’s house. It was a warm evening, and when they arrived, Rosie answered the door. She wore a light, low-cut peasant blouse and shorts that revealed her shapely legs. She led them through the house and out onto the screened porch with Milton enjoying the view from behind. They found Betty gently rocking in a porch swing.
“Hello, Esme. Hello… Mervin, wasn’t it? How nice of you to drop by.”
“Hello, Betty,” they said together. “We’ve come to have a little chat,” continued Esme, “and then Milton has something for you to sign if you’re interested.”
“Well, I don’t sign anything anymore since I resigned from the Board.”
Milton said, “It’s not something to sign in your former capacity as treasurer, Betty. It’s something else. There have been some rather severe violations of the rules by both Dorothy Clodfelter and Penny Smalls, and this is a petition to hold a meeting where the members of the community can vote them out. It won’t affect you in any way because you’re no longer on the Board.”
“Why, what have they done that warrants removal, Mervin?”
“Do you remember those asterisks on your grid that indicated the neighbors who prepaid their dues, which included both Dorothy and Penny? Well, it turns out they did not prepay their dues and haven’t paid them or assessments either for some time now. There have been many other things as well, showing a clear dereliction of duties, plus I even suspect there’s been massive fraud and embezzlement by them, but we need more proof to confirm it.”
Betty’s face registered shock and then dread as she realized this had all happened under her term in office. “They… they won’t blame me for any of this, will they?”
Esme said, “Everyone knows you would never be a party to this, Betty. You needn’t worry. The focus is all on Dorothy and Penny.”
Rosie, beside her on the porch swing, took her hand in both of hers and tried to console her, but Betty remained unconvinced. “I hope that’s the case. I would never be a party to that.”
“No, of course you wouldn’t, Betty,” said Milton. “And that’s why I would encourage you to sign this petition to distance yourself and oust them before they cause any more trouble for the HOA.”
“Yes, Melville. Perhaps that would be best. Where do I sign?”
Milton handed her the petition and showed her where to write her name, address, and email.
“Yours is the final signature,” said Milton. “Everyone, with the exception of the six cheaters, has now signed it, and soon we shall hold the meeting.”
Betty still appeared forlorn, so Esme said, “Rosie, perhaps you and Milton should go for a walk while I sit here with Betty and try to cheer her up.”
Rosie and Milton needed no further encouragement and left the two on the porch.
As they walked down the sidewalk together, Rosie said, “I’m glad you called tonight, Milton. I’ve been hoping to hear from you again, but I can see you and Esme have been very busy getting all those signatures on the petition.”
“Yes, it has taken a while to meet with the many neighbors. Sometimes it was hard to escape with all the stories they related about mistreatment. It boggles the mind how the neighbors have put up with it for so long.”
Rosie thought about this for a moment. “I’ve found that people like to complain, but when it comes to taking action, they’d much rather have someone else do it. It takes someone with leadership skills to actually get things done. This neighborhood is lucky you moved into it.”
“I’ve never been much of a leader before.”
“Well, it appears you are one now.”
He glanced down at her, and she smiled up at him. “You look very pretty tonight, Rosie,” he said almost without thinking; it just came out.
“Thank you,” she said, but she looked down and blushed.
They walked on in silence for a while.
The moment is right to ask her out now, Milton. What are you waiting for?
I’m a little nervous, Geordie. What do I say?
Just mention the concert and dinner afterwards. Don’t let the moment slip away now. Get on with it.
“Rosie, would you like to attend a concert with me this weekend? There is a matinee performance by the Elkhart Symphony Orchestra this Saturday afternoon at 3:00, and perhaps we could have dinner together afterwards.”
Perfect, Milton.
“I would love to. Do you know what’s on the program?”
“It’s an all-Beethoven concert. I believe it will be the Egmont Overture, the Violin Sonata No. 5, and the complete Symphony No. 6 – the Pastoral Symphony.”
“That sounds like a wonderful program.”
Milton was beaming. “I’ll purchase the tickets tomorrow and pick you up at 2:15 on Saturday.”
Rosie smiled widely. “I’ll look forward to it.”
How did I do, Geordie?
You don’t need me to tell you that, Milton, but I’ll tell you anyway. You did very well.
I did, didn’t I?
You know you’ll have to kiss her goodnight after the date, don’t you?
Hmm, I hadn’t thought about that. I’ve never kissed a woman before. I think I’ll need instructions, Geordie.
And I think I’ll let you figure that one out on your own. You’ll be able to work it out together.
I hope you’re right.
Milton and Rosie talked about classical music and music in general during the rest of the walk. They found they had similar tastes. Rosie also revealed that she had sung in an a cappella group in college. This gave Milton a wild idea, but he kept it to himself for now.
By the time they arrived back at Betty’s house, it was close to 9:00, and dusk was well underway. Betty and Esme had moved inside when it began to cool off, and it was nearing Betty’s bedtime, so Milton and Esme decided to say goodnight.
Just before leaving, Rosie said, “I’ll see you Saturday, Milton.”
“Yes. Goodnight, Rosie.”
As they walked up the street with Milton mum about it, an exasperated Esme finally said, “Are you going to make me drag this out of you, Milton?”
“I wanted to see how long you could hold off,” he said with a playful smirk. “Not very long, I’m afraid. Yes, we’re going out together on Saturday. I’m taking her to a concert and dinner afterward.”
“Oh, Milton. I’m so pleased!”
 Recognized |
Milton Frobish: A meek 41-year-old accountant, who moves into an HOA with his brother, George.
George Frobish (Geordie): The 44-year-old invalid brother of Milton. After his death, George becomes a ghost that only Milton can see.
Esme Green (pronounced Ez-may): Milton's next-door neighbor. She is 75.
Dorothy Clodfelter: The president of the Riverwood HOA.
Penny Smalls: The vice president of the Riverwood HOA.
Betty Kleinsmith: The senile treasurer of the Riverwood HOA.
Rosemary Kleinsmith (Rosie): Betty's adult granddaughter. She is 35.
Irene Ferguson: Esme's next-door neighbor.
Picture courtesy of Imagen-3
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