The Rise of the Machines - 1

It was a regular night in the alley—Miss Pudding and her crew were lounging, recovering from the Great Poutine Overdose. Mamaliga was still bloated, occasionally muttering, “Too much cheese… I regret nothing…” while Tuica kept mumbling in his sleep about gravy conspiracies.

Then, suddenly…

BZZZZZZZZZTTT…

A low, ominous hum echoed through the alley. The cats froze.

Whiskers’ tail puffed up. "Did you hear that?"

Mittens’ eyes darted around. "It sounds… evil."

Then they saw it.

Rolling out from behind a dumpster, a round, glowing, disc-shaped creature emerged. It moved with eerie purpose, zigzagging across the pavement, sucking up leaves and dirt like some unnatural force of doom.

Mamaliga gasped. "Tuica… what is that?"

Tuica’s fur stood on end. "I don’t know… but I don’t trust it... and is not an animal from our country!"

Coco shrieked. "MON DIEU! ZE HUMANS ‘AVE CREATED… A DEMON!"

Misu clutched his chest. "Zis… zis is ‘ow we die!"

Miss Pudding narrowed her eyes. "Calm down. It’s just… a robotic vacuum."

Mittens yowled. "THAT SOUNDS EVEN WORSE!"

The Mop’s Prophecy

Before the cats could scatter, a new voice rang through the alley.

"Ah, so you ‘ave met ze demon of the modern world…"

They turned.

Standing in the shadows was Old Mop, the wise janitor’s mop that had been left out behind the café for years. He was old style, manuale, aka handy-dandy hands on no plugging!

Whiskers gasped. "The Mop of Wisdom!"

Mamaliga whispered, "He knows everything."

The mop swayed solemnly in the wind. "Long ‘ave I watched ze battle between felines… and machines. Ze brooms, ze mops, we were once feared… but zen ze vacuum was born. And zis one… zis one eez special."

Mittens trembled. "H-how special?"

Old Mop sighed. "Zey call ‘eem… Le Suckinator."

The cats shrieked.

Coco gasped. "NON! PAS LE SUCKINATOR!"

Misu crossed himself dramatically. "We ‘ave angered zee gods."

Mamaliga clutched his belly. "I CAN’T FIGHT ON A FULL STOMACH!"

Old Mop continued. "Ze only way to defeat ‘eem… eez to show no fear. To stand your ground."

The cats turned back to Le Suckinator.

It was closer now. Too close.

It bumped into a wall, twitched… then slowly turned toward them.

Miss Pudding gulped. "Alright, team. We do this Old Mop’s way. Stand firm. No fear."

"NO FEAR!" Tuica echoed, puffing up his fur. "Attack, Romanian style!"

"NO FEAR!" Mamaliga wheezed. "Whait what is the Romanian style?

Tuica scremed:"Atac, drept inainte atacaaaaaaaaa(attack go forward, charge)!!

The vacuum charged forward.

The cats stood their ground.

The vacuum got even closer like saying;"alonz mes amie ready for ze inzpektion? Yeah? Zer good!"

The cats broke instantly.

"RUN!" Miss Pudding yowled.

Absolute chaos erupted.

Coco and Misu screamed in perfect harmony.

Tuica scrambled up a drainpipe.

Mamaliga tripped over his own feet and rolled like a furry meatball.

Mittens tried to fight back by slapping the vacuum, but the mother puss it just kept coming.

Whiskers attempted to block it with a trash can lid. It climbed over the lid.

Miss Pudding leapt onto Old Mop for guidance. "HELP US!"

Old Mop sighed. "I told you, zis one is special… hait whzere is only one way to stop it."

"HOW?!"

Old Mop whispered.

"Unplug eet."

The cats froze.

Mamaliga, still upside down, gasped. "Wait… it has a cord? Valeu!"

Miss Pudding narrowed her eyes. "Tuica You're Romanian. You’re good at… ‘fixing’ things. Can you do it? Hurry do your thing already!"

Tuica saluted. "Consider it unplugged."

In a heroic display of feline bravery, Tuica launched himself at the outlet, grabbing the cord in his tiny jaws and yanking it with all his strength.

BZZZZZZT—

Then, silence.

The vacuum stopped.

The cats panted, looking at each other, eyes wide.

They had won.

Mittens flopped onto the ground. "I… I think I peed a little."

Coco gasped for air. "Zis was worse zan ze poutine overdose!"

Misu held his heart. "Never again, mon Dieu, never again…"

Old Mop chuckled. "You ‘ave done well, little ones. But remember… zey always return."

Miss Pudding gulped. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

With a dramatic flick of her tail, she pushed the vacuum into the dumpster.

The cats cheered.

Tonight, they had won the battle.

But deep down, they knew… the war against machines was only beginning.