| Humor Script posted July 30, 2024 |
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See if this doesn't make perfect sense...
Warehouse Games
by Jim Wile
Here’s a challenge: Use these three words consecutively in one sentence:
to, too, two in any order but without punctuation. My solution (and then some) appears in the following script in red:
At an Amazon warehouse, the workers decided to take a break and play some field hockey indoors, but they didn’t have pencil or paper to keep score with. They looked around for something else to use, but the only thing available was an open crate of tutus nearby, so they decided to keep score with those, using one tutu for each goal scored. They divided into four teams consisting of two leagues of two teams each that would play off for the win, then the winner of each league would play off for the grand championship.
Each game would last 10 minutes, and the highest score would win the game. A tie would mean another 10-minute game to decide the winner and they would keep playing a full game until one team won.
Here are the brackets and scores of the first round of games:
League 1
2 2 1 Team-1 ---]---]---] Team 1 ] ] ]------------] ---]---]---] ] Team-2 2 2 0 ] ]--? League 2 ] 2 2 1 ] Team-1 ---]---]---] Team 1 ] ] ] ]------------] ---]---]---] Team-2 2 2 0 In the following script, Tim is the League 1 manager, and Tom is the League 2 manager. Tim: So, what was the result in your league, Tom?
Tom: Two times the two teams tied at two tutus to two tutus, Tim.
Tim: That’s amazing. Two times my two teams tied at two tutus to two too.
Tom: So, who ended up winning in your league?
Tim: My team-one won one to aught. Who won in your league?
Tom: My team-one won one to aught too.
Tim: That’s even more amazing how both winning teams won one to aught after the two teams tied two at two tutus to two tutus. What a coincidence! What ought the one to aught winner who wins the championship game to win, do you think?
Tom: How about if the winner of the one to aught wins wins one ton of wontons? They can split ‘em up any way they want to.
Tim: Wonderful! One ton of wontons to the winner of the one to aught wins after two ties of two tutus to two tutus once they win the championship game.
Tom: That pretty much sums it up, Tim. Then it’s agreed. Now, here’s something to ponder: Given that one tutu weighs two times what one wonton weighs, whi—
Tim: Wait, what? Better slow down, Tom. Did you just say that one tutu weighs two times what two wontons weigh?
Tom: No, one.
Tim: One what?
Tom: Wonton.
Tim: Hunh? Maybe you’d better say the whole thing again.
Tom: I said, one tutu weighs two times what one wonton weighs, not two wontons.
Tim: Oh, I got it now.
Tom: Good. So, given that one tutu weighs two times what one wonton weighs, which one weighs more? One ton of tutus or two tons of wontons?
Tim: Hmm, that’s a tough one. I’d say it’s a tie. Since tutus weigh two times what wontons weigh, wouldn’t it make sense for two tons of wontons to weigh what one ton of tutus weighs?
Tom: One can only wonder.
I've always been fascinated by word play ever since, as a child, I read a sentence using four consecutive thats: That that that that writer used was wrong. He should have used which. Homonyms also make things fun.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. 
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