| General Fiction posted July 11, 2024 |
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A letter to God.
Dear Manufacturer
by A.Z. Schott
Dear God Contest Winner
July 11, 2024
Dear Manufacturer,
I'm reaching out to you with some serious concerns I have about your product. Was it your intention to make the manual so confusing? Are you aware of how your product has been abused? Let me report some of my concerns in the hope that we can come to a speedy resolution:
1) I need some clarification on the manual. In the original format, it was specified that operating the product required the following of ten straightforward, moral rules; then those ten simple rules grew to 251 draconian rules. However, during a software update, all the rules were sheared down to two core fundamentals? So, I'm really confused! What rules am I to follow, here? I don't think any of your consumers know.
2) What I believe to be a direct consequence of my first concern is my second one: Are you aware of the shameless misuse of your product? Many consumers, perhaps confused over the manual's inconsistencies, have given to cherry-picking, arbitrarily, rules that align with their particular biases while conveniently ignoring policies that would challenge their own lifestyles. As a result, factions have been established of like-minded consumers, each claiming to have implemented the manufacturer's product with the most fidelity. I, currently, operate the product through a faction called the New Methodists, though I'm not really sure how our interpretation of the manual differs any from the Old Methodists. But I digress.
3) Due to these worrisome contradictions and capricious interpretations by consumers, there have been some strange consequences:
a) Immigrants have been hunted and caged at our country's borders. Simply speaking in a foreign tongue or requesting space to honor and engage in foreign cultural practices elicits harsh criticisms and threats from some of your best customers. However, according to the manual in Article Leviticus, Section 19, subsections 33-34: "When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God." Now, does this policy only pertain to those who have traveled to Egypt, or is it a universal expectation?
b) Several states of our country squabble over the ethics of putting murderers and traitors to death. I think it might be due to the mixed messages from the manual. According to Article Exodus, Section 20, subsection 13, "You shall not kill." However, directly following, it is stated in Article Exodus, Section 21, subsection 12: "Anyone who assaults and kills another person must be put to death." Please advise on what is the appropriate course of action.
c) Many of your customers are tirelessly working to ban the marriage and expression of love between two people of the same sex. In this endeavor, they quote Article Leviticus, Section 18, subsection 22: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." So, does that only disqualify two men from being physically intimate or also two women? Furthermore, if two men, who are physically intimate, love one another, this union would still be accepted by the manufacturer according to Article 1 John, Section 4, subsection 16: "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." The latter article is from an update to the manual. Could you notify the customers still operating under the outdated version of the new policy? They won't listen to me.
Thank you in advance for your review of these concerns, and I'm praying for a prompt response as to how we can resolve them. My family and I have been loyal customers for years, and your product has impacted my life in many positive ways. That being said, I am relating more and more everyday to those who've turned away from your product due to its erroneous implementations in our culture.
Regards,
A.Z. Schott
P.S.--Could you also advise on the ethical expectations of a pregnant woman's rights to terminate her own pregnancy? I've searched the manual for language on how to proceed in this situation, but there doesn't seem to be any. Many consumers of your product claim otherwise, so has there been another update to the manual the rest of us are unaware of? Please help us!
July 11, 2024
Dear Manufacturer,
I'm reaching out to you with some serious concerns I have about your product. Was it your intention to make the manual so confusing? Are you aware of how your product has been abused? Let me report some of my concerns in the hope that we can come to a speedy resolution:
1) I need some clarification on the manual. In the original format, it was specified that operating the product required the following of ten straightforward, moral rules; then those ten simple rules grew to 251 draconian rules. However, during a software update, all the rules were sheared down to two core fundamentals? So, I'm really confused! What rules am I to follow, here? I don't think any of your consumers know.
2) What I believe to be a direct consequence of my first concern is my second one: Are you aware of the shameless misuse of your product? Many consumers, perhaps confused over the manual's inconsistencies, have given to cherry-picking, arbitrarily, rules that align with their particular biases while conveniently ignoring policies that would challenge their own lifestyles. As a result, factions have been established of like-minded consumers, each claiming to have implemented the manufacturer's product with the most fidelity. I, currently, operate the product through a faction called the New Methodists, though I'm not really sure how our interpretation of the manual differs any from the Old Methodists. But I digress.
3) Due to these worrisome contradictions and capricious interpretations by consumers, there have been some strange consequences:
a) Immigrants have been hunted and caged at our country's borders. Simply speaking in a foreign tongue or requesting space to honor and engage in foreign cultural practices elicits harsh criticisms and threats from some of your best customers. However, according to the manual in Article Leviticus, Section 19, subsections 33-34: "When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God." Now, does this policy only pertain to those who have traveled to Egypt, or is it a universal expectation?
b) Several states of our country squabble over the ethics of putting murderers and traitors to death. I think it might be due to the mixed messages from the manual. According to Article Exodus, Section 20, subsection 13, "You shall not kill." However, directly following, it is stated in Article Exodus, Section 21, subsection 12: "Anyone who assaults and kills another person must be put to death." Please advise on what is the appropriate course of action.
c) Many of your customers are tirelessly working to ban the marriage and expression of love between two people of the same sex. In this endeavor, they quote Article Leviticus, Section 18, subsection 22: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." So, does that only disqualify two men from being physically intimate or also two women? Furthermore, if two men, who are physically intimate, love one another, this union would still be accepted by the manufacturer according to Article 1 John, Section 4, subsection 16: "God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." The latter article is from an update to the manual. Could you notify the customers still operating under the outdated version of the new policy? They won't listen to me.
Thank you in advance for your review of these concerns, and I'm praying for a prompt response as to how we can resolve them. My family and I have been loyal customers for years, and your product has impacted my life in many positive ways. That being said, I am relating more and more everyday to those who've turned away from your product due to its erroneous implementations in our culture.
Regards,
A.Z. Schott
P.S.--Could you also advise on the ethical expectations of a pregnant woman's rights to terminate her own pregnancy? I've searched the manual for language on how to proceed in this situation, but there doesn't seem to be any. Many consumers of your product claim otherwise, so has there been another update to the manual the rest of us are unaware of? Please help us!
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