I thought I’d write about something that everybody loves. . . loves to hate that is . . . Auto-Correct.  Some hate Auto-Correct enough to rant about it.

 

My love/ hate relationship with Auto-Correct began in 1973. It was my first real job in Canada and I wanted to impress my new Board of Directors. So, in my first email to them, I wrote Hell to All. Obviously, my Auto-Correct failed me .  .  . just when I needed it most!  Rather than Auto-Correct, it was more like Auto-Neglect. Since then, I’ve been more careful as to when and what I write.

 

Well, actually not. Somehow my Os and Ps can easily get sloppy when typing . . . especially since my ancient fifth pinky, when typing Ps can get lazy. Plus, it seems that an extra tap of my fourth finger can often result in an extra O.  As a result, in the dark and pain of the night, I wrote to an FS Member:

 

 

Well, I can’t expect Auto-Correct to sense bodily functions as to where things are actually located when it comes to “my” body - is it popping or pooping? I guess it doesn’t matter to Auto-cat rectal.

 

But, then there have been times when Auto-Correct has legitimately failed me. . . like when I wrote a quick note to my Aunt Sophia on her birthday:

 

 

Luckily, my Aunt is an entomologist, which only makes the matter more confusing or worse for her. She’s still waiting for the bugs to arrive.

 

Now, metrologists have their own Auto-Correct problems. How about this one:

 

 

Well, I hope everyone learned a lot from those thunderstorm educators, as opposed to those poor “trailing” ones left behind.

 

Throughout my life, I seem to love saying Hello to my Friends.  Recently, however, even this one slipped out:

 

 

Well, I guess I’m more than human and less than perfect. . . friend, fiend, apples, anthills oranges. . . does it matter?

 

“Autocorrect, invented in 1991 by Dean Hachamovitch at Microsoft, changed how millions of people write” .  .  or, as I would say: don’t write.”(1)

 

By 1993, before anyone had a smartphone (or even a “dumb” phone, for that matter), Microsoft rolled out its new word processing feature: autocorrect . . . a program that corrected typos by guessing what words users meant to type. Yeah! Sure!(2)

 

Hear are sum of there “exam pulls” in screamshits of test-massaging(3):

 

And Chris just couldn't wait for the second date.

Well, I hope all you FS Members have sweat dreams tonight!

• Lobber (which in Auto-Cat Rectal Language is sometimes spelled Ladder or Slobber.