I have known many memorable characters during my long life on this earth.  Many of them were con men, some were evil,  others just weird, -real “freakazoids”, and some were well just “flakes” which I define as being unreliable, and fundamentally dishonest, a real piece of work in other words. You can’t define it precisely, but you know you are dealing with a “ flake” when you meet them, and you can never forget them or even forgive them for their “flaky behavior”.

My two Flaky Brothers

My two brothers were the first two flakes in my life.  For some reason, they hated me and everything I stood for,  They grew up to be bitter partisans, eventually becoming full-on Q Freaks and MAGA Trumpists. They called me and my wife “govbots”.

We seldom talk, but a few years ago, we discovered that when we meet if we get drunk together we can tolerate each other.  Why we did not do that years ago I don’t know.  Despite their “flakiness” I suppose there is still some sibling love there buried under the years of hatred, and disdain. They hated me for being much more successful than they were.

Keith W Wanna to be Trump Con Man

Another flaky friend was Keith W, who I grew up with.  He eventually became a real estate developer con man modeling his life and business after his idol,  the Donald, even naming his company Tribeca property after an NYC neighborhood where the Donald had gotten his start in real estate. Unfortunately for him his crimes and cons caught up with him and he spent five years in prison for real estate fraud, and elder abuse – his specialty was ripping off elderly investors using a Ponzi scheme.

Jeff C  god’s roommate

Jeff C was my college roommate.  Perhaps the best mind I have ever known, but like Ginsberg noted in “Howl “,

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness”. 

He took too much ACID one night, and it fried his brain.  He became convinced that he was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.  The only problem was that he was a short, ugly man lacking charisma and charm and thus could never get any followers.  I lost touch with him years ago, but I don’t think he ever came back, becoming a permanent ACID causality.

Chris W

Chris W was also a college friend. He visited me in Korea and India but we lost touch until recently. Chris said that he was an intense guy. He ended up having ten children by three different women and became a redneck hippie in a rural Northern California town.

David M the Boss from Hell

David M was the worst boss I ever had. He conspired against me trying to get me kicked out of the Foreign Service by hyping and exaggerating my drinking in Bangkok back in the day. He was the kind of person who was friendly to your face while stabbing you in the back while smiling at you. In other words, a true diplomat!

Howard the "freakazoid"

Howard was the worst junior officer I ever had. He did not get tenure, which is rare for the Foreign Service. Less than ten percent don’t get tenure. We nicknamed him the “Freakazoid”  - never got the basis of via work – took an average of ten minutes per interview, asking bizarre questions and making poor decisions.  

These are just a few of the many flakes I have known in my life. Truly, I have met too many flakes.