| General Script posted November 25, 2022 |
  |
a script with Pons and Ned
Scene at a MENSA Meeting 7
by Bill Schott
Cast
Pons: average fellow
Ned: Pon's dim cousin
Bed: cousin who sleeps a lot
Cy: cousin who is bald with dark glasses
Ira: cousin who is bald with an eye tattoo between his eyes
Yet: cousin who is bald with unibrow and matching mustache
Rhet: cousin who is bald with a red rubber nose and grease paint frown
Med: cousin who sells drugs
Fed: cousin who is obese
Led: cousin who is "churchy"
GED: Ned's intelligent clone
ZED: apprentice angel of Death (see note in opening)*
DED: the Angel of Death
D-Red: apprentice angel of death for insects and rodents
Server: Female
Previously, Pons and Ned decided to start a MENSA Club in their home town. A dozen friends have arrived at the local Big Boy Restaurant for the orientation. Also attending are DED and D-Red, who are invisible to all but Ned.
The scene continues in the rear of the restaurant. All are sitting around in chairs. Pons has turned the meeting over to Ned, who is going over some questions that the potential members have submitted. DED and D-Red are to the rear. DED prepares to leave, waving a boney hand that Ned acknowledges. He exits, passing D-Red who is smacking a bag, supposedly filled with zombie voles, against the back wall. D-Red then follows DED out of the scene, passing Zed, who enters wearing an orange cloak, hood down, revealing a skeletal face with no eye patch as he once had. Only Ned can see Zed. *(Zed was taken by DED at the conclusion of Scene at a Croquet Match series. I forgot, so I am editing Zed out of the previous scenes, and replacing him with Bed.)
Pons: Well. gang. The cost to join MENSA will be the exam fee of $88 and -- Fed: I'm out. Who's got that kind of money to take a test I'll likely fail?
Pons: It's only $44 if you listed as a child.
Med: Well that may be alright for Ned, but --
Bed: Wait a minute, Med. Are you mak- (yawn)-ing some sort of slam on our cousin Ned?
Ned: That's okay, fellers. I depreciate the dipscount.
Zed, last seen dying at a croquet tournament and joining DED's team, moves downstage from the rear to greet Ned.
ZED: Hey, Ned. I see you are still the butt of jokes.
Ned: Hey, Zed! You look differ'nt widout yer eyepatch.
ZED: I figured that the screaming orange cloak might make an impression.
Pons: Ned? You alright, dude?
Ned: Jis talkin' ta Zed, Cuz.
Pons: Ohh! Right, yeah. Like Death and Red; right?
Ned: DED and D-Red.
Cy: You talkin' to the wall again, Ned?
ZED: Ahh, Cy. This grape owes me five bucks.
Ned: Zed says you owe him some money, Cy.
Cy: That's not funny, Ned. Zed was my cousin too.
Zed waves a boney hand past Cy's butt and comes up with a wallet. He picks out a five dollar bill and tosses the wallet over his shoulder.
ZED: No one owes me forever.
Pons turns back to the others in the room.
Pons: Okay, fellas. After being accepted into MENSA, the annual fee is $70.
Ira: That is ridiculous, Pons.
 Pons: If we go in as a family, we get a $40 discount. GED: We would most certainly be an extended family.
Pons: It's worth a shot.
Yet: I'd like to say something.
Rhet: Me too.
Ned: And there ya go.
Pons: Okay. Who is still on board?
Med: I need all my funds to get my mary jane gummies, dude.
Pons: Understood.
Fed: I need bucks to stay on my diet of chocolate fudge and bacon fat.
Pons: I thought you planted a garden to grow vegetables, Fed?
Fed: Sure, then I sell them at the farmers' market and buy real food.
Led: I must tithe, donate to charity, convert some bonds into gold, and buy gas.
Pons: Understood. So, is anyone taking the test and joining MENSA?
GED: I will take the examination and, after passing, of course, join this important organization.
Pons: Great, Ged. Looks like it's you and me.
Neds: I'm joinin' too, Pons.
ZED: Good for you, Ned. Here's some money to pay for that test.
Ned: Thank ya, Zeddy. Where'd ya get geeters in the afterlife?
Zed chuckles and heads for the exit.
Cy: Anybody seen my wallet?
The End
Image from Google
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. 
|
© Copyright 2024. Bill Schott All rights reserved.
Bill Schott has granted FanStory.com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
